


A Cookie and a Bagel

by AngelMatvey



Category: RWBY
Genre: - ch 11 and 19, Additional Tags to Be Added, F/F, F/M, Multi, alcohol use, they're all big dumb nerd babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3380867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelMatvey/pseuds/AngelMatvey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots involving various RWBY characters and the shenanigans in which they partake. Lots of AU, not much continuity. Rated T because I have a bit of a potty mouth sometimes. Originally on FF.net under the same name. Ch. 1: Weiss works as a barista at a campus bakery/coffee shop, and Ruby is that weird freshman who comes in and orders the exact same thing every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Cookie and a Bagel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
> 
> Pairing: Ruby/Weiss (White Rose), ambiguous relationship

Weiss passed the cup of steaming coffee across the counter. The crow Faunus gave a mumbled thanks, and she briefly considered lecturing him about proper social behavior, but the bags under his eyes and the fact that he was ordering an espresso at 2 in the afternoon heavily implied the fact that he was already suffering enough under the pressure of finals. It was still the week before actual exams, but many students had projects and papers to finish up. Or begin, in some cases.

Weiss glanced up at the clock. 2:14. It was almost the end of her shift, and the girl was fourteen minutes late. Was she not going to show up? Weiss had taken the trouble to prepare her order ahead of time, as she often did, but now it seemed that her foresight was to be in vain.

No, that wasn't possible. The girl almost never _missed_ a day. Every single day at 2:00 pm, the freshman with the red backpack would come trouncing through the door and up to the counter (since there was almost never anyone waiting in line in the middle of the afternoon despite the bakery's popularity on the small campus) and demand−

"One whole-wheat bagel and a chocolate chip cookie, please!"

Weiss nearly jumped out of her skin, the voice erupting right across from the counter. How had she not seen the girl enter? The barista shot the grinning girl a furious glare, but quickly smoothed her expression.

"Welcome to the Beacon Bakery and Coffee Shop. I'll have your order momentarily."

The brunette suppressed a giggle. "You looked surprised."

Weiss gave a huff, not dignifying the girl with an answer. Instead, she swept up the prepared order and passed it over the counter.

"That will be $1.94," she informed the girl, who still was looking rather pleased with herself. As if she had done anything to be proud of! "How will you be paying?"

"Cash. You had it set aside for me?" Weiss met the girl's silver gaze, and she felt herself getting embarrassed again. This kid!

"Of course! You come in every day and order the _same exact thing_. I see you every shift, so I had it memorized by the third week!" Weiss realized her voice was starting to pitch up, so she cleared her throat and waited as the other girl went digging for her wallet.

Weiss took the moment, not for the first time, to examine the brunette. Her clothes were normal enough, but childish in design. Everything about the girl seemed childish. A round face, short stature, loud and bubbly nature, even the food that she ordered was better fit for a seven-year-old than a college student. As much as she wanted to be disgusted, though, Weiss couldn't help but find the girl a little bit amusing too.

"Not _every_ day…" the freshman mumbled, still trying to find her elusive wallet in the various pockets of her bright crimson backpack, but then brightened again. "Ah, here we go!"

But it couldn't ever be that easy. Weiss sighed internally as the girl dumped out a handful of change onto the counter.

"A dollar ninety-four, right? Twenty-five, fifty, seventy-five, eighty-five, ninety…" She slid the coins towards Weiss as she counted. The barista let out an audible groan, though she knew it would make no difference.

"You could just give me two dollars and I'd give you back six cents!" she complained, but the other girl predictably shook her head.

"Nope! I have a lot of coins and I need to get rid of them. Here, ninety-four cents, and here's a dollar!"

Weiss accepted the change, and the girl scooped the rest of the coins back into her wallet before gathering up her bagel and cookie. Before she left, the girl gave Weiss a little wave.

"Bye, Weiss!" she called, a megawatt grin lighting up her face. The barista simply rolled her eyes in response, turning to wipe off the counter to hide a creeping smile. Freshmen are weird.

* * *

"Oh, shoot, it's that time already?" Ruby sprang off of her bed and grabbed her backpack. Jaune glanced up from his DS, frowning in confusion.

"What time? Where are you going?" he asked, knowing that Ruby didn't have any more classes on Tuesdays.

"Oh, just grabbing something from the bakery, I'll be back in a second." Ruby continued to pull on her jacket as she spoke, then grabbed her keys from her desk.

"From the bakery? Ruby, we're in the middle of a battle! Don't tell me you're running away?"

At that, Ruby laughed. "As if! My Houndoom's going to kick your sorry butt in a minute, but first I have to get down there. It'll only be a minute, I promise!"

With that, the girl was gone. Jaune sighed heavily, flopping back onto his friend's bed as he waited for her to return. He knew she liked going to the bakery, it was quite the popular place on campus after all, but couldn't she wait until their battle was finished at least? He had a secret weapon prepared and everything!

* * *

Ruby sighed with relief when she saw the familiar snowy hair of the prickly barista behind the counter. She was worried she'd be too late and miss the girl's shift. But there she was, those same icy blue eyes softening just a touch with recognition. Ruby felt herself grinning as she approached the counter, but she didn't even need to speak before the other girl stepped back and retrieved her order.

"I didn't even tell you what I wanted," Ruby informed the older girl as she searched for her wallet in her bag.

"You didn't need to. Unless you'd like to change things up today?" Her voice was cool and even as always. So composed, so dignified. But Ruby knew from experience that it didn't take much to poke holes in her façade of professionalism.

"Maybe I would!" she declared, scratching her chin with one hand thoughtfully. "I'll have an M&M cookie today, I think." Wow, the more Ruby considered it, the better that idea sounded. She caught a brief look of frustration on Weiss's face, and she couldn't help but giggle. "Actually, I'll have two. I just ditched my friend in the middle of a Pokemon battle to come down here, so I should probably bring him something."

"You ditched your friend to come to a bakery? We're open until 6, you know."

Ruby leaned her elbow on the counter as Weiss retrieved the desired baked goods. "Well, yeah, but your shift ends at 2:30, right?"

"…Yes," came her careful reply, the barista eyeing Ruby warily. It took her a moment to realize just what she'd said.

"Oh! Um. Well, yeah, I guess I could come in at any time. It's not a crime to want to say hello to a friend though, right?" Ruby felt her face heating up with embarrassment. She had never planned on admitting the fact that she'd memorized the other girl's schedule. Dust, she must seem super creepy now! And− oh Dust, was she still talking? "… not exactly _friends_ per se, have I even told you my name? I'm Ruby, by the way, freshman Graphic Design major."

Ruby stuck out her hand, hoping beyond hope that the cute barista didn't blow her off, oh Dust please. Ruby wasn't sure if she would be able to handle that. Sure, the other girl had never exactly been too approachable, and it took a solid two weeks to even strike up any sort of conversation with her, but Ruby was sure that the two of them had made some progress towards friendship.

After a few agonizing seconds of hesitation, Weiss cautiously took the other girl's hand and shook it stiffly.

"Weiss Schnee. Third-year, Business Administration. It's, er, nice to meet you Ruby." She retracted her hand quickly, sliding the two cookies and the bagel to Ruby, who sheepishly accepted them and handed her money over in return. Three dollars, rather than change. This time, instead of coming up with excuses to stick around longer, Ruby just wanted to get the hell out of there. Her face was on fire, and she was sure that she looked absolutely ridiculous.

Weiss handed Ruby her change and receipt, and the brunette quickly retreated to the doorway. But a thought made her pause.

"Hey, Weiss? Will you, um, will you be working here next semester too?"

The barista was still giving her that weird look, but Ruby's heart rose when she saw the corner of the girl's lip twitch, the barest hint of a smile.

"Yes, I have arranged to have the same hours next semester. I assume I'll be seeing more of you?"

Ruby felt herself smiling again. "You bet!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally planned to reverse their roles and have barista Ruby bugging the shit out of poor Weiss for buying so many cookies, but there's just something intrinsically amusing to me about Weiss being forced to act professionally around Ruby. 
> 
> Their relationship can be taken as you please. And I channelled myself a little through the crow Faunus, finals week is rough.


	2. Cat Smuggling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You're the RA and you're trying to bust me for hermit crabs (heavily diverges, oops)
> 
> Pairing: Yang Xiao Long/Blake Belladonna (Bumblebee)

Yang took a deep drag of the cigarette, then slowly exhaled. The smoke was immediately whipped away by the blustering wind. Yang wrapped her arms a little tighter as she leaned against the balcony railing, looking out across the parking lot. She didn't smoke often, but a Bio project due the next morning had her looking for a way to calm her nerves. 

Another drag and Yang was ready to retreat out of the cold and back into her apartment.  
 _Though with the Ice Queen in there, it'll probably be just as frigid_ , Yang thought, chuckling to herself. The project required a group of three, so of course Ruby had volunteered herself (and, by extension, Yang) to join with the Schnee girl. Yang hadn't been happy about this development, though she had to admit that Weiss was quite effective at getting work done. The girl was _brutally_ efficient, Yang had never seen someone get Ruby to work so hard. 

Stubbing the cigarette out on the nearby ashtray, Yang was about to turn back when she spotted movement on the far side of the parking lot. The girl peered out, expecting to see a dog, or maybe a deer. Instead, a human emerged from the thicket of trees at the edge of the lot.  
 _Oh, right_ , Yang mused, _there's a walking trail back there. But who takes a walk at…_ She checked her watch. _One-thirty in the morning? Especially someone her age, what the hell is she doing out this late?_

The girl, dark hair and skin making her almost invisible against the shadows, walked across the parking lot slowly, carrying a rather large box with a blanket tossed over it. She was clearly heading towards Yang's building, and the way she kept shifting the box made it seem like it was quite a burden on her. 

Before Yang really knew what she was doing, she was making her way downstairs to the front door. Weiss's whining and Ruby's questioning gaze were easily ignored as she passed. Because of the other girl's slow and steady pace Yang easily made it down to the building's entrance before she got to the steps. Yang swung the door open, gesturing grandly with a broad grin. 

The dark-haired girl was momentarily surprised by Yang's sudden appearance, but she quickly smothered any emotion on her face and replaced her expression with a blank and unamused stare that could give Weiss a run for her money.  
"Thank you," she said after a moment, shifting the box in her arms and hopping up the concrete steps. However, just as she stepped through the doorway, Yang heard a rather unusual sound. 

_Mrrrrrow._

* * *

Blake's step faltered, and she prayed to any deities that might have been listening that the blonde hadn't heard the sound. A single raised eyebrow told her that her prayers had been in vain. 

"What the hey was _that_?" the girl asked, closing the door behind Blake. Her heart skipped a beat.  
"My stomach," she replied smoothly, turning away again. The blonde scoffed, and Blake knew that her lie was fimsy at best, but it would have to do. If this girl found out what she was carrying and reported her… _Oh please, Shroud, just be quiet for a minute longer. We're almost home._

This time, the sound was unmistakeable. 

_Mrrrroooooowwwww?_

"Holy shit, was that a−"  
"Shhh!" Blake glanced behind her, but the hallway was empty and silent except for the two of them. Most of the other residents were in their rooms asleep, like reasonable people would be at this time of the morning. Blake had been counting on everyone else being asleep, so she could sneak her package back safely.  
"That _is_ , isn't it?" The blonde shook her head. "I'd tell you pets aren't allowed in the building, but that's probably why you've got the blanket, huh?" 

The cat shifted in the pet carrier and meowed again, probably curious about who was talking. Blake shushed him softly before looking back up.  
"Please, listen, I'm just taking care of him for a couple days, he belongs to a friend−"  
The blonde girl waved her off. "Oh, don't worry, it's not like I'm gonna report you or anything, I'm not that much of an ass."  
Blake sighed internally. "Thank you."  
That got the other girl grinning again. "Name's Yang. I live in 202 with my cousin Ruby." She stuck her hand out as if to shake, but then seemed to realize that Blake's own were occupied. "Err, nevermind with that. But what's your name?"  
"Blake," she replied quietly, hoping her short response sounded dismissive enough. This girl seemed nice enough, but Shroud was getting restless again, and call her paranoid but Blake still wasn't sure that Yang didn't plan on reporting her to the apartment owner the minute Blake turned her back. 

Unfortunately, Yang seemed unfazed, and even started to follow Blake as she ascended the stairs.  
"Blake, huh? Yeah, everyone has a rule or two they break. I take the batteries out of the smoke detector when it's raining and I need a cigarette. My cousin turns the oven on and sits in front of it when she's cold. You have a cat."  
Blake sighed heavily. She had picked Shroud up from her friend Adam's house a good ten minutes ago, and trekking through a poorly-kept walking trail at 1:30 in the morning carrying a rather heavy cat had already worn down her nerves quite a bit.  
"Listen, I appreciate that you're not planning on reporting me," Blake growled, spinning around at the top of the stairs and glaring down at Yang, "but I doubt that all the people who can hear your yelling will be as kind." 

Blake regretted her words instantly. _Oh shit, what if she gets mad and decides to report me anyways?_  
Instead of angry, though, Yang looked mortified. She slapped a hand over her mouth, and whispered a barely-audible "sorry" between her fingers. 

Yang unlocked the door for Blake and closed it behind her. Blake quickly set the pet carrier on the ground and, pulling the blanket away, unzipped the front. Shroud practically fell over himself trying to free himself of the horrid cage, and Yang giggled at the sight.  
"Aren't cats supposed to be graceful?"  
"He is graceful!" Blake snapped back, feebly attempting to defend the cat. "I doubt you'd be too elegant after getting stuck in a dark cage and jostled around for fifteen minutes."  
"I suppose that's a good point." Yang shrugged, scratching her chin thoughtfully. "I'm more used to dogs than cats, I've never really been around one before. Why do you even have him, by the way? I mean, since pets are kind of banned in the whole apartment complex after all." 

Blake looked down at the coal-black cat, who was currently sitting triumphantly on the flattened pet carrier. "I found him as a kitten earlier last year. I was going to just nurse him back to health and take him to a shelter, but that never really happened."  
She shrugged, not sure why she was telling all of this to a stranger. The blonde girl looked honestly interested, though, lavender eyes quietly urging her to continue. "There was some maintenance work scheduled to be done in here today, so I cleaned up a bit and brought Shroud over to a friend's place yesterday. Most people are asleep by now, so I've never really had a problem before." 

Yang hummed, crossing her arms and nodding solemnly. "Speaking of being asleep, I should probably head back let you go to sleep. My partner's gonna chew me out as it is, if she's not too busy hitting on my cousin or being generally insufferable."  
The woman opened the door and stepped back into the hallway. Just before she shut the door, though, Yang stuck her head back in. "By the way, if you ever need to stick you-know-who somewhere for a couple days and don't feel like wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night, you could always just send him our way. Ruby loves animals, and I'd be glad to help out."

Blake gave her a nod of acknowledgement, and Yang closed the door. As the girl turned her attention back to her apartment, she thought she heard skipping down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively: Weiss catches Blake smuggling cats, Blake spends three hours trying to convince her not to report the incident. This version sounded significantly less fun to write, though, and it'd probably be even more boring to read. Sorry, Monochrome, maybe next time. 
> 
> This story could be seen as kind of a continuation of the last? I mean I didn't originally write it with that in mind but I kind of like the idea. Also, smoking is not a habit you should pick up, but I can see it as one Yang might have.


	3. Importance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: n/a
> 
> Pairing: n/a

She was going to be important, he just knew it. Call it a sixth sense, or perhaps simple intuition, but Roman always had a good eye for people. He could tell at a glance whether someone was going to make waves or fade into obscurity. He had no use for or interest in the latter, ordinary shopkeepers or lowly grunts. Useless fodder, only good for furthering those with ambition.

But her, he knew from the instant he laid eyes on her that she was planning something big. If politicians and mafia bosses made waves, she made typhoons. And if the metaphor held, only those close to the center would avoid destruction. So that's _exactly_ where Roman planned to be when all hell broke loose. 

Cinder liked to work from the shadows, so it was only logical for her to need someone willing to be in the spotlight. The White Fang were good for grunt work, but what good was a shadowy organization without a figurehead? 

In the end, everyone would get what they want. Cinder Fall would raise hell or whatever it was she planned to do, the White Fang would get their little rebellion, and Roman… well, he'd get his fifteen minutes of fame, though it would be quite a bit more than that if all went according to plan. After all, who was going to forget the man who helped bring about a revolution? 

But first things first, he needed to get her attention.

* * *

"In position, Boss."

Roman pulled the radio from his coat pocket. "Wonderful. Keep an eye on that front door, and let me know if you see anything odd." 

He ignored the man's affirmative reply, pocketing the radio again. Switching his cane to his right hand again, Roman gestured with his left for the five men lounging in the back of the van. 

"You hear that, boys? It's showtime." 

The driver pulled the van out from the alleyway and parked it near the Dust shop, careful not to obstruct the view of the sniper nearby. A bit extreme for a simple robbery, sure, but Roman was pulling no stops on this particular venture. He knew exactly who was watching. 

Despite the seriousness of the occasion, Roman couldn't help his flair for theatrics, pushing the double-doors open grandly and striding up to the counter. The man behind it, quite youthful despite his iron-grey hair, looked visibly startled by Roman's entrance. Probably due to the fact that a sign on the door clearly said CLOSED. But Roman had no time for such petty matters. 

He leaned one elbow on the countertop, smiling broadly. "Evening, sir! I'll take your finest samples, if you would be so kind!" 

The young man, hardly more than a boy, looked understandably anxious, even moreso as five large men in dark suits followed Roman through the doorway. 

"Oh," Roman purred, glancing over his shoulder at the men, "and we won't be paying."

* * *

The robbery went well, as usual. The shopkeeper held it together surprisingly well, they usually panicked or started crying. Sometimes both. This one simply did as he was told and didn't speak unless instructed to.

"Ah, if only all of those stupid shopkeepers were as obedient!" Roman sighed as the last of the Dust was loaded into the van. "We wouldn't have had to shoot anyone! But no, they _always_ try and run. It's like they don't realize guns still work at a distance!" 

The driver didn't seem terribly amused. Grunts never had a good sense of humor, always 100% serious. Perhaps the White Fang would be different, though somehow Roman doubted it. He'd worked with Faunus before, and the only one who had even come close to being funny had cracked puns for a solid two hours. Those were also the worst two hours of Roman's life. 

"Just drive," he growled, mood soured by the memory. The man obeyed, pulling a U-turn and practically flooring the pedal. Roman winced at the sudden acceleration. 

He pulled out the radio from his pocket once again. "We clear?" 

"Yes, sir," came the immediate reply. "No one in the area, and I still can't hear any sirens." 

"Good, good, wonderful to hear." His momentary bitterness was immediately forgotten. "We'll pick you up in a minute, be ready." 

"Affirmative." 

Roman allowed a genuine grin to grace his features for a moment. A buzz from his pocket revealed even further good fortune in the form of a message on his scroll from an unknown number. He didn't have to think too hard to guess who it was from, though. 

**_You continue to impress, Roman Torchwick. Come to the warehouse on West Avenue by the docks tomorrow at 22:30, and perhaps we can discuss a possible joint business venture.  
Cinder Fall._ **

He considered replying, but thought better of it. If she wanted to play all cool and mysterious then he'd let her. Better than getting on her bad side, since he'd gone through all this trouble already.

* * *

Roman let the grunts unload the truck. He had more important things to think about than whether or not they were handling the Dust properly. Which they undoubtedly were not, but even if they did cause a minor explosion he didn't want to be in the vicinity.

"So-o-o, this is it!" Roman drawled to himself as he returned to his office. He sat in the chair and put his feet up on the desk, ignoring the papers that were undoubtedly getting crumpled. 

_I feel like some pop idol about to sign a contract for some big record company or something. Why didn't I go the normal route to become world-famous again?_ Roman laughed to himself at the very thought. _Oh, that's right, because everybody only loves famous people while they're famous. It's infamy that sticks around._

"Well," he mumbled, taking his feet off the desk once more and straightening out the papers. "Things are finally getting interesting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No prompt inspired this one, just the headcanon that Torchwick does everything that he does not because he actually believes in Cinder's or the White Fang's causes, but because they're doing something big and he wants to be a part of it. I dunno, his behavior just makes me think that he's _trying_ to be memorable. 
> 
> I also headcanon that he talks to himself a lot.


	4. Ruby & Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "i work at a movie theatre and i’m cleaning up after the movie is over and you’re the only person left because you’re ugly crying with popcorn over your lap” AU
> 
> Pairing: Ruby Rose/Blake Belladonna (Black Rose)

Blake's ear twitched in subdued irritation, the only display of emotion she expressed as she glanced at row after row of theatre seats covered in popcorn and butter. Three out of every four cupholder had a half-empty drink resting in it, and the rest held empty candy boxes. No one would ever make her job easy, huh?

A muffled sob from near the front row caught her attention, and the Faunus glanced in the direction of the noise. A solitary figure sat with their face buried in their hands. They seemed to be doing their best to be quiet, but Blake's superior hearing caught every stifled sound. The voice was high and girlish, fitting the slender frame in the chair. 

To avoid unnecessary interaction, Blake decided to start at the back row and work her way forward. Enough people had already come out of that particular movie bawling already, she was quite tired of dealing with blubbering children and adults alike. 

Blake worked steadily and methodically, picking up the drinks and empty containers from the cupholders and tossing them into the trash can before sweeping up a plethora of sticky popcorn from the floor. Apparently two separate moviegoers had managed to dump their large bowls onto the floor. 

_Damn free refills,_ the Faunus girl thought bitterly, frowning a bit as she accidentally stepped on a half-melted piece of chocolate. _If they made people pay for new containers, then maybe they'd be more careful._

* * *

Despite taking her sweet time cleaning the rest of the theatre, Blake found herself hesitating at the far end of the dreaded row. The girl was still there, and… yes, she was still crying, though not as heavily as before. Blake could clearly make out sniffling and the occasional choked sob.

She moved down the row slowly, quietly sweeping up the occasional piece of popcorn and retrieving a couple of stray sodas. It was too soon before Blake found herself standing next to the crying girl. 

"…Hey. Are you going to be okay?" 

The girl jumped in alarm, looking up at Blake with puffy red eyes. She sniffled again, then wiped her nose on the sleeve of her strikingly-red hoodie. Blake grimaced and dug around in her uniform slacks, fishing out a clean napkin and offering it to the other girl. 

She accepted it gratefully and blew her nose several times before she could speak. 

"Y-yeah, I'll be okay… I just… I didn't know. I didn't know the dog was going to die, that wasn't okay!" 

Another sob, and Blake patted the girl awkwardly on the shoulder. 

"Did you not read the book?" she asked, feeling a little sorry for her. Blake hadn't actually watched this movie, but she had read the novel long before and knew how it ended. 

The snivelling girl shook her head. 

"No, not this time. My sister and I were gonna see the movie together, and she never reads books before seeing the movie, and I wanted−" She hiccuped, then blew her nose again. "I wanted both of us to find out the story together." 

"That didn't go very well," Blake observed. This seemed to amuse the girl. 

"Haha, no, it didn’t, huh?" She giggled and started to get up. Blake took her elbow and helped her stand. "Thanks."

"Of course. And I'm sorry to do this, but I _really_ need to finish cleaning up here…" Blake gestured towards the popcorn kernels that fell from the girl's lap when she stood. Was there something about popcorn that made it that difficult to eat, or was it just a human thing? 

"Oh, what? Wow, where'd everybody go?" The short girl, now that Blake was closer she could tell she was a redheaded human, looked around in alarm at the barren theatre. 

"They left. The credits ended about ten minutes ago." 

"What?!" She turned her gaze (silver eyes, Blake noticed) back to the Faunus before her. A quick glance, and the redhead seemed to notice that Blake's uniform and the fact that she wasn't just another moviegoer. "Oh, Dust, I'm in the way, aren't I? Here, let me help." 

Quick as a flash, the girl began bundling nearby trash into her arms. Blake attempted to protest, but her efforts were met by a stubborn "shhh, no, I'm helping." So Blake decided to just go with it. 

* * *

"You said you were going to see the movie with your sister," Blake commented as the girl (who had introduced herself as Ruby) dropped an armful of garbage into the can. She nodded brightly. 

"Yep, me and Yang were going to see it, but something came up at the last minute. So then I was going to come with my other friend Jaune, but he was busy too, and I'd already bought my ticket online, so I didn't want it to go to waste. But wow, if I'd known it was going to end like _that_ I would've just gone back home!" 

Blake chuckled as she dumped her dusting pan of spilled food into the trash can as well. "I like reading books first. Movies change things, but the overall story rarely is surprising." 

"I like books too! Yang used to read to me a lot as a kid, but I think she liked the whole 'to me' part better than the 'reading' bit, 'cause she doesn't do it much anymore. And I like adventure stories, I just heard that this would be a good movie." 

"Adventure stories, hmm?" Despite having known the other girl for only a couple of minutes, that tidbit of information didn't surprise Blake in the slightest. 

"Yeah! Like knights and heroes, slaying the monsters and rescuing the princesses, that kind of thing!" Ruby brandished Blake's broom like a fencing sword, stabbing it at imaginary foes. The ebony-haired girl watched with amusement. 

"I doubt you'll be slaying many monsters by fencing with a broadsword like that. Something that long and heavy is made for swinging, not stabbing." 

"Ehehe, oh, right." Ruby switched her stance a bit, gripping the handle with both hands. Thankfully, instead of attempting to swing the broom like an actual sword, she returned with a grin it to where Blake had leaned it against one chair. She seemed to be in much better spirits than when Blake had first found her, and her eyes were far less red and swollen. Ruby's good mood was infecting Blake as well, and she found herself smiling a bit in return.

* * *

"Soooo…" Ruby let the vowel draw out. It echoed a bit in the empty theatre, and Blake felt her ears swivel under her bow to catch the sound. She glanced up from where she was picking up an empty wrapper. Ruby was standing with her hands clasped behind her back, rocking slightly on her heels and looking a bit sad.

"So?" 

"So. This has been loads of fun, well, as fun as cleaning up a movie theatre can be… buuuut I promised Yang I'd be back by 9:30 and I'm already going to be a little late." 

Blake frowned at that, leaning on her broom a bit. "You shouldn't have helped, then. I could have taken care of it myself." 

"Oh, no, I wanted to! It's just, I really need to get going. But it was great meeting you, Blake! Kind of embarrassing, since, y'know, I was bawling my eyes out because of some dumb kid's movie, but…" 

"Older people than you have left this theatre in the same shape," Blake informed her, hoping to sound comforting. "But it was nice to meet you as well, Ruby." Then, as an afterthought, "I'll see you around sometime."

Ruby brightened considerably. "Yeah! Maybe we can do something fun this time!" 

As the two of them left the theatre room, Blake carrying her equiptment and Ruby babbling about all of the exciting things the two of them could do ("Oh man we _have_ to play laser tag. We'll bring Yang and Weiss, and maybe you can bring your friends, it'll be so much fun!"), Blake couldn't help but chuckle. 

_So much for avoiding unnecessary interaction_ , she thought to herself, though she couldn't bring herself to regret this unexpected turn of events. Instead, as Ruby waved goodbye in a charmingly overenthusiastic manner, she found herself looking forward to seeing the redhead again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can probably guess what movie she went to see. I've never actually seen the movie myself, but I read an adaptation of the book. Still, I'd probably react more like Blake than Ruby if I _had_ seen it, I'm not really the crying type.


	5. Assigned Seating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today" and "vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room"
> 
> Pairing: Blake Belladonna/Weiss Schnee (Monochrome)

A shadow fell over Blake's desk, the light obstructed by a distinctly person-shaped silhouette. She didn't look up to see who it was, but gripped the pen in her fingers a little tighter in preparation for the inevitable interruption. 

"Excuse me." 

Letting out a light sigh that barely hinted at her frustration, Blake turned her head to see exactly who had stalked up to her in such a huff. Not that she didn't know already. Weiss Schnee stood with her arms crossed, a petulant scowl on her face. Also unsurprising. 

"Can I help you?" Blake asked, praying silently that this could be resolved quickly and painlessly. Dealing with an angry Weiss Schnee tended to be neither, but one could hope. 

"You're in my seat." Ah, _that_ was the problem. 

"I wasn't aware there were assigned seats in this class," Blake replied loftily, turning back to the novel she had previously been reading. She could almost hear the other girl's blood pressure rising, but to her surprise the heiress kept her cool. 

"While it's true that desks aren't technically assigned, I have been sitting at this particular desk for five weeks. It's obviously my place, and common courtesy dictates that you don't sit there unless I am absent. Which I am _clearly_ not." 

"That much is obvious." Blake glanced around for a moment, mostly for show. Class had yet to begin, and most students were still taking their time filtering into the room from lunch. At least half of the desks in the room were empty still, probably since not many students were terribly eager to sit through an hour of AP European History again. AP That One Time Professor Port Backpacked Through Europe would probably be a more accurate name for the class. 

"There are plenty of available seats, so I don't see why you're pestering me for this one in particular." With that, she again attempted to return to her novel, but Weiss was having none of it. 

"Do I have to spell everything out for you?" There's that infamous temper. "You're sitting in one of the only two left-handed desks in this class, and I _happen_ to be left-handed!" 

"Then pick the other left-handed desk, it's right there!" Blake gestured at the desk to her right, finding herself getting irritated as well. She glared up at Weiss's pale eyes. Sure, she hadn't realized that she was sitting in a left-handed desk, having been distracted by her displacement (since her own desk was currently being occupied and Blake was a creature of habit), but her bad mood made her quite unwilling to move once again, especially not simply to accommodate the wishes of some spoiled heiress.

Luckily, before things got even more hostile, a familiar smiling face entered the room. Ruby bounced cheerily over to the pair, and Blake felt the tension in the room begin to ease. Ruby was one of the few people Weiss deigned to speak to on a regular basis, and also a good friend of Blake's as well.  
Well, if the princess was willing to lower her hackles, Blake could too. 

"Hello, Ruby," she said, trying to sound pleasant despite her growing headache. 

"Hey Blake, what're you doing sitting over here? Is something wrong?" Ruby cocked her head, having apparently noticed the lingering atmosphere between the bickering pair. 

"No, nothing's wrong," Weiss interrupted hastily, setting her belongings in the chair behind the one to Blake's right, a right-handed desk. The dark-haired girl raised her eyebrow at her choice of seating, but remained quiet. "Blake and I were just having a discussion." 

"Oh, okay!" Ruby's smile returned to her face as quickly as it had faded, and she took the seat to Blake's right. The girl began pulling out her notes, as class was about to begin. Ruby tapped her pencil in an arrhythmic pattern with her…

Blake suddenly wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor in embarrassment. _Of course Ruby is left-handed. I knew that already, it was one of the first things I noticed about her. How could I have forgotten?_

It was too late to switch desks, though; Professor Port was already making his way to the board, and everyone else was settled in their own places. 

Suddenly, Blake realized something else. _Wait, is that why Weiss sat at the other desk?_

The dark-haired girl twisted around in her seat to look at the heiress. Their eyes met, and Blake nodded subtly towards where Ruby was still tapping away. Weiss, sharp as ever, caught her meaning instantly and turned away with a scowl. Blake smirked a bit when she saw a faint blush dusting the other girl's cheeks. So the Ice Queen has a heart after all.

* * *

Blake was already gathering her belongings before the lunch bell finished ringing, in an effort to hopefully get to class before her seat was taken once again. The girl had discovered a nice and quiet classroom that she could retreat to during her lunch break. The downside, it was quite a distance from her next class.

Her hopes were dashed for the second day in a row when she entered the classroom only to find her previous desk seating a certain Russel Thrush. Blake held a healthy dislike him, like she did anyone who associated so closely with the school bully Cardin, so she retreated to the other side of the classroom once again.

Weiss and Ruby had yet to arrive, and as Blake placed her belongings in the right-handed desk that Weiss had taken the day before, she thought back to their argument. The rational part of her brain told her that intentionally provoking the Ice Queen would result in nothing but headaches. The irrational part desperately wanted to force the other girl out of her comfort zone. 

Quickly, making sure that Weiss and Ruby still had yet to return from lunch, Blake switched to the left-handed desk once again. She wondered vaguely if she had some kind of repressed sadistic tendencies, but before she could pursue the thought further a certain redhead bounced into the room, momentarily followed by her white shadow.

* * *

"Oh, you absolute _jackass_ ," Weiss hissed under her breath. She glared at the black-haired girl sitting in the desk (Weiss's desk). She had been fully prepared to forgive the girl for the previous day's transgression, writing it off as simply being unaware of the situation. Weiss should have known better, though, especially after the haughty knowing look she gave when Ruby sat down.

This time, Ruby caught on to the situation almost immediately. To Weiss's dismay, the younger girl quickly placed her belongings at the right-handed desk. 

"Here, Weiss, you can have the left-handed one," Ruby told her hurriedly. _Damn this girl's altruism!_

"No. You take it." Weiss tried to sound as commanding as she could. "I'm fairly competent with my right hand as well, it's no trouble." 

This wasn't a lie, but in all honesty Weiss hated using her right hand at school. Her rather religious mother saw left-handedness as a sin, so Weiss had been forbidden from using it at home. As a result she had become ambidexterous, but Weiss still felt uncomfortable using her right hand when she didn't have to. No need to let Ruby know that, though, it would just worry her unnecessarily, and a worried Ruby was a clingy and irritating Ruby. 

The redhead conceded the right-handed desk, and out of the corner of her eye Weiss saw the black-haired girl smirk. 

"You look happy," Weiss muttered as she brushed the dark girl's arm a bit more roughly than strictly necessary. 

"Not really, you're just cute." Weiss blinked in surprised confusion, then scowled as the girl continued with another faint smile. "When you're not being a huge bitch, at least." 

"Blake!" Ruby gasped reprovingly, but she knew Weiss well enough to not get in the way just yet. 

"When _I'm_ not being a huge bitch?" Oooh, that did it. "I'm not the one being a hassle to those around them for sheer amusement!" 

"I thought you said you were ambidexterous." The girl raised one slender eyebrow, amber eyes glittering with humor. And maybe, just maybe, the barest hint of a challenge. Weiss wanted to argue her point, but doing so would go back on her claim of being fine with a right-handed desk. Instead, she switched directions. 

"What about you? Yesterday you were using your right hand, so it would only make sense for you to use, I don't know, almost any other desk in the room!" 

"I like this desk," the girl said simply. And, with a simple shrug, she turned back to the book in her lap. 

It was going to be a _long_ semester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can conceive of very few instances in which Weiss and Blake would make a good first impression on one another. They're simply destined to be absolute shitlords to eachother. Sorry, I don't make the rules.


	6. Five Nights at JNPR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "character 1 enlists the help of character 2 as emotional support while playing a horror game"
> 
> Pairing: Lie Ren/Nora Valkyrie (Renora), ambiguous relationship

"Run, Ren, run!" Nora sang, eyes and grin bright in the artificial light of the monitor. 

"Nora, I can't even stand up, much less run," Ren replied tersely, checking the cameras again. No one had moved, luckily. Nora ignored his response, instead continuing to sing words that rhymed with his name. Where was all this bravery a few minutes ago? And why am I the one playing? 

Ren pulled up the camera screen once again. Flipping quickly between camera views, he cursed when he realized one of the animatronics had changed position. 

"Shit, where's the rabbit…" Anxiety curled in his stomach like a hard knot, and Nora's distracted jabbering wasn't helping him focus any. He flipped through the cameras rapidly, squinting to try and spot the elusive character. 

"Be careful about your power!" his partner chimed. Ren glanced down. 52%, and it was only 2 pm. But he still had no idea where the damned rabbit− oh, no, there she was. Ren sighed with relief, then flipped back to check that the other two animatronics hadn't moved. Luckily, they remained where they were. 

Beside him, Nora giggled again, tightening her grip around his arm. "You're so nervous!" 

"That's kind of the point of the game, isn't it?" Ren felt a little bad for being so short with her, but something about the game had him on edge. Probably the fact that he couldn't actually move his character whatsoever except to look around. With most of Nora's horror games, he could at least try to run away, or even fight, but this game made him feel trapped and helpless. 

"Where did you even find this game, Nora?" 

"Ruby and Jaune played it a few days ago," she hummed, resting her chin on his shoulder. She had long since abandoned her own chair, choosing instead to drape herself over the back of Ren's. "They said it was really good! Well, Ruby did. Apparently Jaune started crying and had to quit." 

That, sadly, didn't surprise Ren in the least. Their intrepid leader was never one for horror games, despite his girlfriend's affinity for them. Besides, the dark-haired Hunter could certainly understand why this particular game would be stressful. 

Ren pulled up the cameras once again, only for the screens to show nothing but snow. 

"Look out, they're on the move!" If anything, Nora sounded delighted by this turn of events, while Ren felt quite the opposite. 

He lowered the camera screens and quickly closed both doors, just as a gentle music began to chime from the computer speakers, barely heard over the fan in the character's office. 

"That… doesn't sound good…" Ren checked the cameras again. They were operational, but he jumped when he flipped to the camera directly outside of the office door only to be face-to-face with a grinning animatronic bird. 

Nora laughed again. 

"Heeeeeeey~" she mocked, trying to mimic the character's expression. "She looks really funny! Hey, are those teeth in the back of her throat? She already has teeth, and she's a bird, why does she need teeth? Didn't the guy on the phone−" 

"Nora," Ren warned, hoping to keep her from going off on a tangent right in his ear. Most of the time he'd simply let her, but Ren needed to focus. Especially now that the cameras had gone temporarily dark again, and two of the animatronics were now apparently on the move. 

"Oh, sorry, Ren. You do your thing." She sounded genuinely apologetic, so Ren simply nodded and returned his focus to the screen before him.

* * *

When Nora had first booted up the game, she scoffed at how simple the mechanics were.

"Whaaaaat, no weapons, no nothing? I wanted to shoot stuff! And it's at a kid's pizza place, that's not scary at all!" Nora sagged dramatically in the chair, heaving a grand sigh at the colossal disappointment she already deemed the game to be. 

Ren, on the other hand, was trying to listen to the man on the phone. "What was that about damage or death?" 

Nora waved her hand dismissively. "It'll be fine, this game looks too cute to be scary!" 

This game definitely doesn't look cute, Ren thought skeptically, but didn't question his friend's tastes aloud. Instead, he simply watched quietly from his chair as Nora's character closed the doors on their left and right. 

"There, problem solved! Nobody's stuffing me into a fursuit!" 

Ren watched the little "power left" percentage tick steadily down. "Nora…" 

"Not that there's anything wrong with fursuits, of course. I wonder if Faunus ever wear fursuits? Would they wear a fursuit of the same animal, or maybe they'd wear a different one!" As she jabbered, flicking rapidly between the eleven cameras so quickly that Ren was sure she couldn't see anything, he watched as her power continued to tick down. 

"Can you imagine? Running into somebody in a cat fursuit, but then they take their headpiece off and they've got feathers or horns or something? That would really throw me off, I think. Ooh, look, you can turn on the lights outside the doorway!" 

Nora jammed the lights a few times, letting them flicker on and off. Ren groaned as the pointless action wasted even more electricity. 

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long at all for Nora to run out of power. She jumped in surprise as the lights suddenly went dark and the doors flew open. Even the office fan, a calming buzz that Ren had already grown accustomed to, was silenced. The only sound was a dull and fading roar, likely the dying generator. And then… a music box? 

Nora gasped and pressed back into her chair when she saw the glowing blue eyes staring at her from the pitch-black doorway. Ren stared back, his own eyes wide in anticipation and fear.

And they waited. 

And waited. 

The animatronic bear stared at them through the doorway, its distorted music box chiming in the silence as its eyes flickered. Then, the screen went dark. 

"… Was that it? A bit anticli−"

Nora's words were cut off with a metallic shriek as the bear leapt at them, shaking the camera roughly as it screamed. Nora fell backwards out of her chair with a shriek of her own, and Ren's chair tipped as he attempted in vain to grab his partner and pull her away from the danger. 

As quickly as it happened, the scene ended. The game's screen faded to snow and static once again, then returned them to the main screen. 

The pair simply sat on the floor for a minute in quiet contemplation, Nora wrapping her arms around Ren's torso tightly and burying her face in his shoulder. There was a hesitant knock on the door, and when neither responded a curious Blake poked her head into their room. 

"Are… you two okay?" she asked. Apparently the screams of abject terror had disturbed the neighboring team. Who would've guessed. 

"…Yeah," Ren replied, collecting himself once again. "We're fine." 

Blake glanced at their computer monitor and nodded in understanding. "I know that game. It's… more startling than it looks." 

"So we've learned." Ren looked down at his partner, who had yet to detach herself. She wasn't crying or anything, he knew that much. It would take a lot more than a simple jumpscare to bring a Valkyrie to tears, but startled was a good word to describe her at the moment. 

Blake took the ensuing silence as her cue to leave, and closed the door silently behind her. 

After a minute, Nora removed her arms from Ren and got to her feet. She was grinning again. 

"Well, Ren, I think it's your turn to play now!" the girl crowed.

* * *

Ren flicked quickly between screens, leaning in close to the monitor to see.

"Bear, bird, rabbit, shit, where's the rabbit…" he hissed. Nora's grip on his shoulder was rather painful at this point, but he didn't care. 

"There, she's in there!" 

"Yes, got her. Wait, shit, Pirate's Cove!"

"Oh no…" 

"Hey, Team JNPR!"

Both Ren and Nora screamed when Jaune flicked on the lights. Their team leader fell back through the open doorway in panic, and Nora was out of her chair and halfway down the hall before realizing that there was no actual danger. 

When the two returned to their room, they found Ren frozen with a death grip on the armrests of his chair, staring blankly at the static screen. 

"…Nora?" 

"Yes, Ren?" 

"I don't think I want to play this game anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been done more times than I can count, but frankly I don't even care. I honestly did want them to play a game other than Five Nights at Freddy's, but I've never been able to get Amnesia TDD or MFP to run on my laptop (the pains of not having a desktop *le sign) and I wanted to write a game that I've actually properly played before. Most of the scary games I've played are either really short and not scary enough or are RPGmaker, which are almost exclusively story-driven and would've been tedious to write. So it was either FNAF or Vanish, and I figured I might as well go with the game that people are more familiar with.  
> Anyways, this was a bit of a toss-up between Ruby/Jaune or Renora bros, and I ended up picking the latter bc 50% Team JNPR just isn't as good as **100% TEAM JNPR**. And Nora plays scary games exactly the way I don't; by ignoring everything and crashing through whatever gets in her way.


	7. Liveblogging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: we’re both semi-famous on this social media website and never knew about each other until our fans started shipping us together so we decided to start talking au 
> 
> Pairing: Ruby Rose/Yang Xiao Long (Enabler)

"Heeeey, everybody, Yang-a-rang Xiao Long here!" She grinned at the video camera, lining it up to make sure the angle was just right to capture the scene she had prepared. "I know you guys have missed me terribly, it's been, what, a whole week since I put up my last video? Sorry, it's just that nothing's been happening! I've been so bored I even went to class, if you can believe it!" 

A gentle cough from behind her reminded Yang of her purpose. "Oh, right. Sorry, Blake. You guys remember my roommate Blake, right?" 

She stepped aside and gestured grandly at the dark-haired girl, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable about being put in the spotlight so suddenly. Seeing this, Yang quickly diverted the attention back to herself. 

"Anyways, Blakey here got ahold of some weird pepper, apparently it's spicy or something. So she dared me to eat it!" 

"No, I told you that I wasn't going to eat it, then you asked if you could eat it later. I told you that was probably a bad idea, then you said 'fire cannot kill a dragon' and grabbed your camera." 

Blake's monotone as she retold the actual story made Yang giggle. "Ahaha, right, something like that. Anyways, all that matters is that I have been challenged!"

* * *

Only two hours after the video was posted, it was already well past 5,000 views on their college's blog site.

"Apparently people really like seeing you crying on-camera," Blake commented idly, watching the video on her own laptop. Yang was sprawled on her bed, still feeling the effects of her earlier escapade. 

"I did not cry," she pouted, looking away pointedly.

"I definitely see some tears amidst the general panicking and screaming." 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! That thing was terrible, barely worth it. Shit, I still feel like I just tongued Satan's asshole or something. Pass me another bottle of water?" Yang rolled back over and gave Blake the most pathetic look she could muster.

Her roommate winced at the mental image before reaching down under her bed to pull out Yang's fourth bottle of the afternoon. She tossed it to Yang, who immediately cracked the bottle open and chugged it. 

"Oh look, someone's mentioned that Rose7 again." Blake continued to scroll through the comments, looking for anything particularly interesting. Most of the comments were "LOL" or something to a similar effect, with the occasional video suggestion that she ignored. Yang never took suggestions, wanting to keep her videos spontaneous and "genuine". But more than a couple of comments caught Blake's eye. "Looks like they really want you to do a collab video with her."

"Hmm?" Yang wandered over, flopping onto Blake's bed. The dark girl frowned as the bed bounced, but turned the screen towards the blonde. 

"See? There's one comment chain here, asking you to do a collaboration. I already saw a couple more earlier. She seems popular." 

Yang hummed again, reading the string of comments. Indeed, several users were asking her to do a video with a certain "Rose7". Yang had definitely seen the name around, but she'd never actually bothered to see who they were or what their videos were about. 

Sounds like it was research time.

* * *

"Hello! Um, my name is Ruby Rose." The nervous girl sitting in front of the camera looked no older than a freshman. Hell, she could probably pass for a freshman in high school rather than college.

"Oh my god she's so cute, Blake!" 

"Shh!" 

"Right, sorry." 

"−first video on here! I've always kind of had a hobby of making these kinds of video blogs, but I've never actually posted any online before… I think it'll be fun, though!"

Yang and Blake listened as the girl continued to talk. There wasn't much of a point to the video that the blonde could discern, but she still found herself listening intently. The freshman spoke animatedly, gesturing and waving her hands for emphasis and grinning as she talked inanely about moving in, meeting her new roommate, and preparing for her first day of classes. It was so pointless, the video should have been mind-numbingly boring. But something about the way the little brunette in the red jacket spoke made Yang hang onto every word. Beside her, Blake was leaning forwards just a touch, amber eyes showing a hint of interest. Which, for Yang's normally impassive roommate, was a high compliment indeed. 

"Oh, jeez, I think seven minutes is long enough for my first video!" the girl exclaimed suddenly, glancing at the cell phone resting on her knee. "I promised my roommate I'd be ready to go to the bookstore by 3 anyways, and I think she'll probably leave without me if I'm not. So, um, I guess I'll see you all later! Or you'll see me, really." 

With that, the video ended. Yang and Blake both leaned back once more. 

"…Okay, wow, she is adorable. When was that video posted?" 

Blake scrolled down the page a bit, searching for a date. "The beginning of last semester. Looks like she's still a freshman." 

Yang frowned, feeling disappointed for some reason. Did she want the girl to be older? Yang herself was only a sophomore, though she usually found herself going after people several years older than she. There was something about the slight sense of danger that intrigued Yang. Though her most recent (and catastrophic) relationship failure had put a bit of a damper on the girl's more adventurous tastes. 

Blake seemed to notice Yang retreating into her thoughts and took the opportunity to continue scrolling through the freshman's video page. 

"Let's watch a few more," the dark girl prodded gently, sliding the laptop to rest on Yang's knee.

* * *

Yang, readying herself for takeoff, glanced up at Jaune. "You drop that camera and I will end you," she warned. He visibly swallowed.

"Yeah, sure, of course!" The boy readied the video camera. 

"It's still on?" she checked. Jaune was a good friend of hers, but… not the most reliable, and Yang definitely wanted this little stunt to be remembered. 

"It's recording, it's recording!" the blond boy reassured. "Just go!" 

Yang beamed a grin at him, her excitement coming back. She sat cross-legged in the lid of a trash can at the top of an ice-covered sidewalk. Apparently no one at Beacon owned a proper sled, but Yang had made do with what she had available. 

"Y'all ready for this?" she laughed. Behind her, Blake gave a heavy sigh. Pyrrha was also watching, significantly more nervous. She had a good sense of humor, but Yang's more dangerous stunts always got her anxious. This one wasn't particularly dangerous, but the potential for injury was there, and that was enough. 

Not waiting for a proper reply, Yang gave herself a push forward. She slid over the ice a few inches, but it was enough to begin tipping herself forward.

* * *

Ruby barely registered the shouts from above her as she stepped across the partially-frozen sidewalk. All she heard was a single, clear voice.

"Oh, shit!" 

With that, the brunette's feet were suddenly not underneath her anymore. In fact, it felt like the entire world was flipped on its head. Or maybe it was her that was upside-down. 

And then Ruby's head hit the pavement, and her vision exploded into stars and pain. She rolled onto her side and brought her hands up to clutch her aching skull. 

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh my god are you okay?!" The loud voice in her ears weren't making things any better. 

"Owww ow ow owow…" Ruby groaned, sitting up on one elbow and cradling her head with her free hand. "What… what just happened?" 

She heard a heavy sigh of relief from beside her. 

"Umm… I kind of ran you over? Sorry about that! Are you alright?" 

Ruby squinted up at her… rescuer? Assailant? "Yeah, I think so. Just hit my head a little, I've had worse." 

Ruby suddenly locked gazes with the most intriguing shade of lavender she had ever seen. The girl's eyebrows were knitted together with concern, which sent a pang of sorrow through Ruby for causing, as she held the freshman's stare for a few moments longer. 

"Oh jeez, you're Ruby Rose, aren't you? Wow, what a first impression…" The girl fell back with another sigh. "Sorry again about that, it's kind of deserted out here usually and we didn't see you until it was too late." 

The girl got to her feet and brushed her palms off on her sweatpants before offering a hand to Ruby. She accepted, and the blonde pulled her to her feet with surprising strength. The girl was still talking, but all Ruby could really focus on was how warm her hand was in the cold winter air and how much her head fucking hurt.

* * *

"Sorry again for earlier," the blonde stammered for what must have been the tenth time, stuffing another mouthful of pancakes into her mouth and swallowing quickly. "I thought I'd checked the area well enough to make sure no one was around, but I messed up."

As an apology for plowing the poor freshman over during one of her stunts, Yang had invited the entire group back to her and her roommate's place for breakfast-for-dinner. Jaune and Pyrrha had declined, and Yang's roommate was currently curled in a chair on the other side of the room, her half-empty plate forgotten as she became absorbed in the novel she was reading. So Ruby and Yang were more or less alone at the small kitchen table, chewing on surprisingly good pancakes. Ruby wouldn't have pegged the busty blonde as a chef at first glance, but Yang continued to defy expectations. 

"My hobby is documenting my life with this baby here!" she proclaimed, showing off her video camera to the enraptured brunette. "Whenever I get the feeling something interesting's about to happen, I pull her out and hit record. Most of the time I don't get anything good, but sometimes I manage to capture something fun." 

Ruby nodded. "I know what you mean! I make videos too! Well, mine are more like a video blog than actual videos of what happened, but I like talking about my day and stuff. Nothing interesting ever really happens to me, but it's still fun." 

"I'm sure today will make an interesting video," Blake piped up from her corner. "Yang apparently has a way of sweeping girls off of their feet." 

Yang laughed again, not sounding embarrassed at all. "Was that a joke I heard? I'm so proud of you, Blake!" 

Ruby hadn't felt so at ease since before she left for college five months ago. Between Yang and Blake's playful banter and the blonde's genuine enthusiasm, Ruby felt herself growing more and more comfortable in their cozy apartment. Yang cooked some more pancakes, Ruby ate most of them, and the three simply chatted the evening away. 

Simply put, Ruby had missed this. She and her roommate Weiss were fairly close, yes, but the other girl wasn't really the type for small talk or homemade meals. Something about the atmosphere in Yang's apartment made her feel warm and happy. Or maybe it was the blonde herself, and those curious lavender eyes. Ruby couldn't bring herself to care just yet.

* * *

Finally, Ruby realized that she actually had homework to complete and that she would have to return to her own dorm.

"It was really great to meet you, Yang!" She shook the blonde's hand with gusto, hoping to convey even a fraction of her gratitude. 

"Nice to meet you too, Ruby!" the blonde replied, flashing a megawatt grin as she squeezed Ruby's hand fiercely in return. "If you don't hate me too much for accidentally almost killing you, definitely stop by again!" 

"Indeed, it was nice having someone else around," Blake chimed in. 

Ruby waved goodbye to the pair, the pain in her head long forgotten and a grin of her own on her face. She definitely knew what her next video would be about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was kind of hard for me to get out. Enabler's pretty weird for me for a variety of reasons (see: incest kind of squicks me out so I couldn't read much reference material), and I just... didn't know where I wanted it to go. I rewrote most of it no fewer than three times, and even now I'm not really satisfied. I'll probably go back and fix it up at some point, but I just. I wanted to get something written. It was the least I could do that day. 
> 
> Rest in peace, Monty Oum.


	8. House of Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "actor at a haunted house/person who punches the actor in the face" AU 
> 
> Pairing: Blake Belladonna/Sun Wukong (Black Sun)

The earpiece crackled to life once again, feeding yet another status report.

"Last batch'a the night comin' in," the dog Faunus at the door drawled to the rest of the crew. "Didn't see any horns or tails on three of 'em, but one smelled'a Faunus. Watchy'rselves though, looks like they're a team a' Huntresses, and you know how _their_ reflexes are." 

Sun rubbed his hands together in gleeful anticipation. Neptune claimed that he enjoyed this job a bit too much, and maybe he was right, but there was something about making someone leap a full foot in the air at his touch was just _hilarious_.

The blood-colored dye was beginning to wear off of his palms, he noted, but decided not to bother with last-minute retouches. After all, the faunus at the door (Sun had long since forgotten his name) said this was the last group for that evening, and it would be hard enough getting the rest of the Halloween paint off of his skin as it was. 

"Ugh, not Huntresses," the crow Faunus across the room groaned, voice muffled slightly by the ivory-white bird mask. "My stomach still hurts from where that one slugged me earlier." 

"Should've moved faster, then!" Sun replied, grinning at the memory. The other Faunus definitely had that one coming. "I mean, we're sort of trained to respond like that to threats." 

"Then why the hell would you go into a haunted house? It's our job to scare the shit out of you!" The crow Faunus, Bailey, crossed their arms in mild irritation. 

The monkey Faunus shrugged. "Well, I guess it means we've done a good job. Besides, it's not like you can't handle it, or you wouldn't be here." 

Bailey almost retorted, but a faraway cry of abject terror caused them both to perk up. 

"That was quick," Sun commented, hopping down from the table on which he had been perched. Usually the pair had at least five minutes to prepare after a group entered the house before it was their turn, but it hadn't even been two. _Somebody's moving rather quickly_ , he thought with amusement as he moved into position.

* * *

The haunted house wasn't too unusual at first glance. It was big, dark, and decorated with gaudy spiderwebs and fake blood. Still, one thing made it a little different from most: the entire place was staffed entirely by Faunus, most of whom were Hunters or Hunters-in-training. Their superior night vision and advanced training and abilities gave the crew a huge range of possible tricks to pull.

Sun and Bailey's job was fairly simple. Bailey was the obvious attraction, their plague doctor garb and incredibly quick reflexes good for a simple jumpscare, as Sun (covered in fake scabs and rather disgusting-looking cysts) hung upside-down from a series of ropes suspended from the ceiling and grabbed at passerbys who wandered/fled too close. 

Simple, yet infinitely amusing.

This time, though, neither Faunus was prepared when the first of the group entered the room. Though "entered" wasn't exactly the right word for the girl's actions. "Exploded through", or perhaps "blew right by" would be more accurate. The Huntress was nothing but a red-and-black blur of pure panic. 

Sun, normally partially blocking the doorway, barely avoided getting run into as the girl barrelled past and into the next room. 

"Holy shit," Bailey mumbled, gazing after her.

"Was that…?" _Oh yes, that was definitely Ruby. That must mean…_

A chill began to creep through the air, a unique yet familiar sensation caused by a certain snowy-haired heiress. Yep, definitely Team RWBY. And, more importantly, the B of the team. There was no way Sun was letting his girlfriend get through the haunted house without a little something special. 

"Keep the door covered," he commanded, dropping quickly to the ground. Bailey seemed to know something was up, so they simply nodded and returned to their post. 

Sun silently thanked the haunted house's director for making the room directly after theirs empty. He ducked inside and grabbed a black prop blanket. Blake's night vision would mean that normally she'd recognize him instantly, and that was just no fun. But if he managed to stay out of sight until she passed…

Sun had barely managed to hoist himself back up into the ropes and cover himself in the blanket before Bailey gave a short tap with their prop cane. That was their agreed signal to get ready, and moments later familiar laughter drifted through the opposite doorway. Apparently Blake's partner was having the time of her life. The Schnee girl was another story, judging by her irritable scolding. 

"−can't believe she just took off like that!" the short girl was complaining. 

"Ruby never has been good with real-live horror," a soft voice replied, one that Sun knew by heart. He hoped beyond hope that she didn't recognize him. 

"But she plays those stupid games all the time! Besides, she's our our team leader, and she just abandoned us!" Wait, did she just stomp her foot? Sun bit his lip to hold back a chuckle, forcing himself to hang limply. He was going for a just-a-corpse-for-show look, and corpses didn't giggle. 

Sun couldn't see the doorway with a blanket draped over his face and all, but he listened as the team's footsteps grew ever closer. Yang especially was quite easy to track. It's not like one hundred and sixty pounds of muscle was going to be too light on its feet, after all. 

He heard Weiss shriek, and then Yang burst out laughing once again. Bailey must've made their move. 

"Come on!" the Schnee heiress huffed. "Let's just get out of here!" 

"Ahahaha, after you, Princess!" The brawler was having trouble forcing her giggles down, which only humiliated Weiss further. 

A ghost of white approached Sun, then paused. He held his breath. 

"…Is that a prop?" Weiss sounded wary. Oh no. 

"Not sure," Yang replied. "Blake?" 

That was it. He was caught. There was no way Blake wouldn't be able to smell him, or at least the stink of face paint and blood that hung around all of the actors. There was no way she'd let him ever forget trying to scare them and _getting caught at it_. 

"I don't think so." 

Wait, what? 

"You should be safe going by." 

_Oh._

_Blake, you_ sly _cat._

Sun had momentarily forgotten that Blake's mischievous streak, though well-hidden under layers of self-control and cool sarcasm, was just as big as his own. She wanted him to scare Weiss. 

It was a shame he would have to disappoint, but Sun had an even better idea. 

The Schnee heiress, at the prompting of her team, crept forward slowly and near-silently. The soft click of her heels was the only thing that allowed him to track the girl's movements in his blindness as she slipped underneath him and through the doorway. 

After she passed, he heard Weiss let out a sigh of relief. 

"See?" Blake asked, and Sun thought he caught a faint undercurrent of disappointment. Yang, reassured by Weiss's safe passage, strode by brusquely. 

"Yeah, no problem!" the blonde cheered. "I think we're almost out, anyways, and you'll be able to shout Ruby's ears off in a minute!"

Sun heard a noise of uncertainty from the next room. Where was Blake? Had she already passed without his notice? 

"I thought you'd scare her," murmured a voice from directly below, and it took all of Sun's self-control not to flinch. No fair, it was his job to scare her, not the other way around! 

He considered replying, but with a swish of clothing Blake followed the rest of her team.

* * *

Sun dropped silently to the ground. Just as he had hoped, none of the three were looking back, gazes all fixed forwards as they waited for the next horror to pop out.

He stepped forwards silently. It had taken months of practice and more humiliating failures than he could count, but the monkey Faunus had finally learned the art of moving quietly enough to evade even his girlfriend's keen ears. And now the skill was finally going to be put to good use. 

However, the last thing Sun expected to happen when he reached out and grabbed Blake's shoulder was for her to spin on her heel and pound her fist directly into his eye. 

"OH MY GOD." 

"Oh _shit_ , Blake!" 

"Sun?! Fuck, are you okay?!"

* * *

Sun held an ice pack to his aching eye as Blake continued to babble apologies. Yang was still choking back her laughter behind him, joined by a certain cheeky crow Faunus. Weiss had already gone off some time ago, likely to tear her team leader a new one for ditching them.

"It's _fine_ , Blake," he told the cat Faunus once more, but his words were just as ineffective as the last several times. 

"But I shouldn't have hit you," she told him severely, amber eyes wide and serious. The last time Sun had seen her like this, the girl had been telling him about her past affiliation with the White Fang. Why was she so upset?

"I broke protocol, so really it was my fault," Sun replied. "Really, I'm okay! I didn't know you had such a mean left hook, is all!" He laughed, hoping to ease the other Faunus's worries. 

Yang rested her hand on Blake's shoulder with a grin. "I've been training with her, showing off some basic boxing techniques. Didn't think she'd be using them on _you_ of all people!" 

Instead of looking amused like Sun had hoped, Blake averted her eyes with guilt. He felt a pang in his chest at the sight of the girl looking so dejected. It made her look… well, pitiful, and that was never a word he wanted to describe his girlfriend with, and one that she would also hate being described as. 

Sun touched her chin lightly with his tail, gently turning her to face him. Blake followed his touch, and their eyes met. 

" _Blake_. Why are you so upset by this? You even told me you didn't realize it was me under the blanket, so there's absolutely no reason for me to be upset with you." 

"Sun, _I punched you in the face_." She sighed, trying to turn away again, but Sun dipped his head forward to maintain eye contact. 

"So? Do you have _any_ idea how many times Neptune has punched me in the face?" Sun removed the ice pack from his face with a wince. From the slightly relieved look on Blake's face, the swelling must have gone down some, though he knew he'd have a nice black eye. His girlfriend hit _hard_ when she wanted to. 

"I just…" Another sigh. "I don't know if I would be so forgiving, and I don't feel like I deserve to be let off so easily." 

Yang, sensing the mood of the conversation turning more intimate, took the opportunity to make a tactful retreat, and Bailey followed suit a moment later. 

Sun thought for a moment, breaking their eye contact and staring thoughtfully at the ice pack cupped in his hands. 

"So, if I punish you for hitting me, you'll feel better?" 

He got a hard glare in return, and quickly amended his phrasing. "Not like, anything weird! But, you know, a favor or something?" 

"It wouldn't make me feel any worse." 

Sun grinned. "Okay! Kiss it and make it better!" 

Another Look™. But, instead of dismissing his suggestion, Blake leaned forward a touch. 

"Close your eyes." 

The monkey Faunus eagerly obliged, and his smile broadened even further when he felt the girl's lips meet his eyebrow tenderly. 

"Okay now?" he asked as his girlfriend pulled away. 

"It's a start," she admitted, looking a bit happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't get Sun at all and I've never been to a haunted house. Why, then, did I write this? Because when I read that prompt, all I could think about was Blake absolutely _decking_ monkey boy. I write for my own selfish pleasures, so it had to happen. 
> 
> Oh, and the crow Faunus from Cookie and a Bagel gets a name! The labrador Faunus has a name, too, but I didn't think Sun would bother to learn it. They're just reusable background characters in these anyways, details'll be revealed when they are relevant. Both are currently faceless and one has no name. I am so good at OCs.


	9. Fluorescent Adolescents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: laser tag au (I am not good at sticking to prompts huh)
> 
> Pairing(s): minor Ruby Rose/Blake Belladonna (Black Rose); minor Yang Xiao Long/Weiss Schnee (Freezerburn), ambiguous relationship

"Do you see them?" Ruby whispered. The masked figure to her left shook her head sharply. 

"No, but I think one of them is up−"

"Right!" Yang barked from behind them. "Two moving up right!" 

Ruby cursed under her breath, raising her rifle and scanning the area to their right for movement. A huge stack of tires blocked most of her view, and there was also cover in the form of large slatted wooden crates. If their opponents were intelligent, which they (mostly) were, they'd likely stick to the tire stacks. 

Across the field, she could faintly hear the enemy leader barking out orders. 

"They're trying to draw our attention!" Ruby called to her own team. "Yang, Weiss, you two keep your eyes on the right side! Sun, you cover the middle! Blake, you're with me!" 

"Yessir!" the monkey Faunus replied, peering between the slats of the crate he was using as cover. He wasn't the most accurate, but Sun was a natural at suppressive fire. She heard nothing from Yang or Weiss, but she trusted them to know what to do. 

After checking again to make sure no one had poked their heads (or rifles) out, Ruby nudged Blake with her foot. 

"C'mon, this way," she instructed before breaking into a half-crouched sprint to another stack of tires a short ways away. Moving like that was awkward, and the girl's back always hurt like hell the next morning, but it definitely minimized target space. 

Blake momentarily followed suit, but a few spitting noises and rustling leaves behind the girl told them that she'd been spotted. Luckily, none of the shots landed, but it certainly made Blake pick up her pace a bit. 

The taller girl settled down beside Ruby, her back leaning against the tire stack as she caught her breath. For a moment Ruby wondered if this was all too much for her, maybe this was a bad idea, maybe she wasn't enjoying herself, maybe… 

Blake caught her eye even through both of their masks, and Ruby's fears were suddenly put to ease as quickly as they had arrived. Amber eyes glittered with excitement, visible even through both masks. The younger girl couldn't help but grin back at the sight, but quickly sobered when she heard a shout from across the field. 

"Got 'im!" Yang roared in triumph, just as a wail echoed through the clearing. Ruby called her congratulations as she raised her own rifle to peek around the edge of the tire stack. The words died in her throat, however, as she saw a figure in a dark bronze coat and black mask staring right at her from behind a crate, their own rifle poised. 

"Shit!" Ruby cried, as her world exploded in white.

* * *

"There, that should do it." Ren handed Ruby back her mask, having cleaned it of the white paint. He wasn't in much better shape himself, his right arm and torso littered with fluorescent orange splotches. Ruby giggled once again at the sight. 

"Yang really got you good, huh?" 

Ren shrugged. "I wouldn't mind having her on my team one of these matches." 

"What? No way, I'm keeping her!" 

There was another shout, and a disgruntled Jaune soon limped away from the field to join them. 

"You could give us Blake instead," Ren offered as he stood to greet their friend. "She seems like quite the shot." 

"You can say that again!" Jaune moaned, giving Ren a fistbump before flopping onto the bench beside Ruby. "She definitely has the whole 'double-tap' thing down, and she fights dirty!" 

Ruby looked the blond over, grinning when she saw his left shoe covered in orange paint. "I dunno, looks pretty fair to me!" 

"Scheiße! I'm out, I'm out!" came a shrill voice from the clearing. That would be Weiss, meaning the odds were equal once more. 

From where she sat, Ruby could see most of what was going on. Yang still held the left side, fending off both Nora and Blake's other friend (his name has something to do with the sea, right?). Sun kept to the middle, occasionally letting off a few rounds in either direction to give the opposing team a little spook. Blake…

In Ruby's absence, Blake had apparently taken it upon herself to engage her teammate's foe, and seemed to be winning. Pyrrha was pinned behind a crate, and Blake let off a few rounds every time the redhead so much as flinched. 

"She's going to run out of paintballs at this rate," Ren mused. Ruby hated to admit it, seeing how well Blake was doing, but he was right. It took everything Ruby had in her to keep from shouting advice to her new friend, but it was a common courtesy among the group to keep quiet about the game until it was over.

* * *

By the time Weiss finally wandered over, wiping white paint from the barrel of her gun ("I didn't even get properly hit, that was a cheap shot at best!"), the match was almost over. Yang managed to take Nora out, but she and Neptune traded hits almost immediately, and Pyrrha got a brilliant shot on Sun that pegged him right in the ribcage from between the slats of the crate. He'd definitely feel that one in the morning. 

"Who do you think will win?" the monkey Faunus asked, rubbing his tender rib with one hand as he rested his rifle on the table. 

"My money's on Pyrrha," Yang admitted. Ruby shot her sister a dirty look, mouthing the word traitor. "Whaaat? Pyrrha's good! And she's got experience." 

"But Blake's got her pinned," Weiss pointed out, rubbing her hands together to ward off the winter chill. "I don't think she's going anywhere."

"Me and Ren are with Pyrrha!" Nora declared, standing on the bench as she dumped a fresh load of paintballs into the chamber of the gun. "Team loyalty! Right, Ren?" 

Ruby felt herself begin to tune out the others, instead watching Blake intently. The gun was clearly unfamiliar in her hands, and her right elbow stuck out a little too far as she held it up. Her stance was too wide, back foot digging into the dirt at an odd angle that couldn't be doing much for the girl's stability. Most of Blake's body was obscured by bulky clothing, per Ruby's insistence. They were playing paintball, after all, and in the middle of winter one could usually afford to sacrifice a bit of mobility for protection against pain and cold. 

But despite the other girl's clear naïveté at the sport, something about her was simply mesmerizing. 

Ruby could see Blake's breath rising as a fine mist through the holes in her mask, and her taut posture hinted at the girl's surely intense concentration. 

Still, there was only so far determination could take her, and Blake's inability to ration her paintballs ended up being her downfall. It only took a few seconds after she ran out for Pyrrha to take advantage of the situation, though the other girl took her victory with grace and simply gave Blake a shot in the stomach, where thick padding would protect her from most of the sting.

* * *

Four exhilarating deathmatches and more hits than Ruby could count later, she found herself waving goodbye to most of her friends. Jaune, Pyrrha, Nora, and Ren all piled together in the back of Jaune's old van, and Neptune (that was his name!) offered to give Sun and Blake a lift. Ruby had been quick to offer Blake a ride as well, which she surprisingly accepted instead. 

Now the two of them were stripping themselves of their gear, Yang and Weiss a ways away scuffling with leftover paintballs.

"So, uh." Ruby found herself at a loss for words. She had been doing that around Blake a lot lately. When the two had first met, Ruby clearly recalled that she had been unable to shut up, but now that the two were slightly more alone… 

Blake looked at Ruby blankly. No, not blankly, Blake's looks were never entirely empty. The emotion was just hard to find sometimes. "I had a lot of fun today, if that's what you're wondering." 

"Oh! Good! Good, that's, that's really good! I was kind of worried earlier, 'cause I mean, I didn't know if you'd want to come, and I didn't want you to feel pressured or anything, especially since paintball is really different from laser tag and I know you've played that before. But I'm really glad you and Neptune and Sun came, it was a lot of fun playing with you!" She'd started out rough, but Ruby thought that she'd managed to stay articulate fairly well. Five sentences down, hopefully many more to go. 

Blake nodded, averting her gaze conspicuously, but Ruby had a feeling she was pleased.

Suddenly, a sticky and suspiciously neon-green arm was slung around Ruby's neck. "You two done having your little heart-to-heart yet? Because I really need a shower right about now, and Ruby's driving!" 

"Eww, gross, Yang, get off of me!" Ruby shoved her sister away in horror, and both Yang and Blake dissolved into giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically a continuation from Ruby & Me, set a while afterwards, though you could probably read this as a stand-alone just fine. I really just wanted to write a paintball war between Team RWBY and Team JNPR. My ideal would be no fewer than 7 chapters, with every breath and blade of grass described in loving detail. But alas, this will have to suffice.
> 
> And yes, the title is (almost) an Arctic Monkeys song, I just thought a literal interpretation of the title would be fitting.


	10. A Lesson in the Futility of Obligatory Intimidation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: n/a
> 
> Pairing(s): Ruby Rose/Yatsuhashi (yes, you read that right)

Yang continued to rip the napkin apart methodically, tearing each piece exactly in half as they got smaller and smaller. She'd already made a nice little pile of white paper scraps on her knee, each piece about the size of her pinky nail. She could probably get them even smaller if she tried, but Yang wasn't really paying much attention to her hands.

A hum of disapproval rumbled in her throat as she watched the boy –man, huge man, hell, he was even bigger than Junior− effortlessly pull Ruby to her feet. Even from across the training field, Yang could see her little sister's blush.

"God, _look_ at that creep, putting his hands all over her. Fuckin' cradle-robber."

Beside her, Blake let out a sigh, amber eyes never straying from the page of the novel in her lap.

"He's three years older than her, Yang."

"Exactly! You don't find that creepy?" Yang tore into the napkin scraps with renewed fervor.

"Not really…" Blake turned the page, clearly showing zero interest in Yang's obvious distress. "Ruby acts like a child, but she's not a baby anymore."

"Yes she is! She's growing up, sure, and I'm proud of her for that, but I don't think she's ready for… for whatever _this_ is!" Yang gestured towards where the pair had returned to their fighting stances. Despite herself, Yang felt a surge of pride at seeing how Ruby's form was getting better. The young leader had approached her not long after the fateful city breach, and Yang had been more than happy to help the girl with some hand-to-hand combat training.

But here she was, using Yang's teachings to flirt with some random guy.

"His name is Yatsuhashi," Blake told her sternly, "and he's not just some random guy." _Oops_. "If you'd ever accept my invitations to hang out with Team CFVY like Ruby does you would know him. Actually, you would probably get along with him quite well, he's a bit like Ruby. Just a lot quieter."

Ruby ducked below a wide left swing ( _sloppy, how do you expect to protect her with a weak swing like that?_ ) and delivered a solid blow to the man's exposed ribcage before skipping back out of range.

Were they even flirting? It wasn't any kind of flirting that Yang was used to, that was for sure. Who even asked to train with someone as a way to flirt with them? Well, besides Pyrrha, and it seemed to work surprisingly well for her. Actually, that's probably who Ruby got the idea from.

It only took a moment, but Yatsuhashi suddenly had Ruby on the ground again. There wasn't anything intimate about their positions and Yang wasn't about to lie and say that he was being unnecessarily rough −actually, he seemed to be treating Ruby rather delicately, which only frustrated Yang even more− but Yang couldn't help but scowl further.

A gust of wind interrupted Yang's focused rage. Before either partner could react, the growing pile of shredded napkin previously resting on Yang's knee was blown into the air, showering both of them in flecks of white.

"Whoops!" Yang giggled nervously, brushing her front off and plucking away stray bits of paper. "I guess I shouldn't do that, huh?"

Snapping her book closed, the Faunus girl let out another sigh.

"What's gotten into you?" Blake finally growled, rounding on Yang. Her sudden change in attitude made Yang blink in surprise, and it took her a moment to answer.

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't like you. I never thought I'd see you of all people sulk like… like a petulant child!"

_Wow, bringing out the big guns, huh? I must be_ really _annoying right now._

Wait… Blake actually had a good point there.

"Why _am_ I sulking?"

Blake's ear twitched under her bow. "How should I know?"

But Yang wasn't listening anymore. She stroked a bit of torn napkin between her forefinger and thumb. Blake was right, it wasn't like Yang to sulk. She was a creature of action. If something bothered her in the past, she had always confronted it head-on. Why should this be any different?

Yang found herself grinning.

"Thanks, Blakey, I think I needed that!"

And with that, Yang leapt to her feet and strode off towards the training field, leaving her partner baffled and rather concerned.

* * *

"You wanted to talk to me?"

Wow, his voice was _not_ what Yang expected it to be. Thinking back, she wasn't sure she'd ever heard him speak before, and his voice seemed much too small for such a large person.

Even standing at her full height, Yang was a good four inches shorter than Yatsuhashi. Not the dynamic she had been hoping for, but she could make do.

"Yeah. I've got a bit of a bone to pick with you."

There was an awkward silence. Yatsuhashi simply gazed down at her, and Yang felt herself fumbling for something to say. Nice going, me, off to a great start here.

"You've been spending a lot of time with my sister lately." There we go, right to the point.

"Yes."

Another silence. This guy does not talk much. Yang was beginning to think that this whole "confront your problems" was a bad idea after all. But she couldn't back out now, so instead Yang cleared her throat and tried again.

"I'm here to give you a warning. Don't fuck with her, or I'll break your teeth."

There. That sounded suitably threatening. All she needed to do now was extract herself with her pride intact and maybe this whole debacle could be over with.

"What do you mean? Do you not want us to spend time together?" Oh god, he actually looked genuinely hurt by that. Backtrack, backtrack!

"No! No, I just mean, you know, don't do anything stupid or be a jerk to her!" Yang rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. This was definitely not going as planned. Where was Big Sister Mode when she needed it?

Yatsuhashi closed his eyes and nodded solemnly, as though Yang had delivered some kind of wise prophecy rather than stammered out an awkward explanation to her halfhearted threat. "I see."

There was another long pause before he opened his eyes and continued.

"Ruby is very nice. She listens to me and knows when I'm joking and laughs even when no one else understands."

Yang frowned. "Is that some kind of confession? Because I don't think I'm the one you should be saying that to."

"No, that's not it." He frowned as well, gazing off to Yang's left as he apparently tried to find the right words. Yang stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. "I don't plan on being a jerk to Ruby because she is always nice to me, and I like being around her."

"Good to hear!" Yang felt herself grinning again, oddly put at ease despite how uncomfortable the entire exchange had been thusfar. "You keep thinking like that and I doubt we'll have any problems!"

* * *

"So?"

Blake had apparently retreated indoors to continue reading. A few bits of shredded napkin rested on the table beside her bed, and Yang shuffled in embarrassment at the memory.

"So what?" Yang asked cagily, knowing exactly what her partner meant. She wandered over to Blake's bed and flopped down across her partner's legs. Blake didn't even react, her gaze returned to the book she held.

"How did your roughing-up go? I don't see any black eyes, and you came in smiling, so I assume it was fine."

"Keen assessment, it went about as well as one could hope. Impossibly awkward, but I managed to threaten him successfully. I think. He was such a weird guy, I don't know what Ruby sees in him."

"Yatsuhashi doesn't like talking with strangers. If you get him comfortable he can be quite chatty." Blake turned the page in her book leisurely. Yang was fairly certain she just did it for effect sometimes. "He _is_ a bit odd, I'll admit. So is Ruby, though."

Yang wiggled up beside her partner and poked the smaller girl in the ribs. "What's that you're saying about my sister?"

"Just that the two of them have some of the most interesting conversations I've ever heard." Blake settled herself a bit, leaning in just a touch against Yang's shoulder.

"That's what I _thought_." Yang closed her eyes. She decided that she'd have a nice long talk with Ruby later. But now it was naptime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference, at the time this was written we have/had no idea what Yatsuhashi is like. At all. He's appeared like... twice. And hasn't had any speaking lines. This was all made-up. His personality in this vaguely reminds me of Rin from KS, actually. Easier to follow his methods of thinking though. I kind of want to write more of him, this was barely a snapshot and I spent way too long trying to figure out how I was going to write him to just leave things like this for good.
> 
> Idea was suggested by a lovely reviewer on FF.net, though Yang kind of crashed and burned at the whole Momma Bear thing. I just can't see her getting too aggressive towards a guy who obviously doesn't really understand what she's trying to do.
> 
> I'm planning on coming back to this, the pacing is off and I'd like to fix it, but I think I'll post it for now.


	11. Oh, the Humanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: n/a
> 
> Pairing(s): minor Blake Belladonna/Weiss Schnee/Yang Xiao Long (Bee's Schnees), ambiguous relationship(s)

"Yang, what the _fuck_." Blake stared at her partner, who was struggling (and failing) to hide her laughter.

"Hey, ehehe, you don't even… you don't even know which one's mine!" The blonde's complaint was spoiled by her giggles.

Blake sniffed. "Like Weiss would play a card that said 'Glenn Beck con… convulse… consively vomiting as his spiders…' I can't do this, I can't read this, Weiss help."

The heiress grabbed the card away from her drunken teammate. "Convulsively vomiting as his brood of spider crabs− no, crab spiders, hatches from his brain and,' Yang, Yang what the hell is this?"

Yang collapsed into a fit of giggling at that. "I− I knew you guys would love that one. It's great."

"It doesn't even make sense." Blake looked down at the black card in her hand.

"Yeah it does!" Yang straightened up indignantly. "Listen, see, 'what's that sound'? Glenn Beck puking. And spiders. What did it say again?"

Weiss passed it across the table to the brawler, who nodded and decided not to attempt reading it aloud.

"Soooo, Blakey, did I win? I won, didn't I?" She scooted closer to the Faunus, leaning heavily against the smaller girl's shoulder. Blake tried pushing her away with one hand, the other hiding her cards from Yang's prying eyes.

"Get off, Weiss wins."

The heiress cheered, reaching forward and grabbing the black card as Yang gasped.

"Hey, you didn't even read hers, that's cheating!"

"Don't care, your card was dumb."

"Hers was dumber!"

"What?! Mine actually made sense!"

Yang stuck her tongue out at Weiss, who did the same in return. Blake rolled her eyes, as though she were somehow above their childish feuding.

In revenge for the _clearly_ unfair loss, Yang sat up and blew a puff of air at Blake's closest feline ear. The dark-haired girl jumped with a squeak at the sensation, rubbing at her ear furiously with her free hand.

"Yang, oh my god, you _know_ I hate that," she spat. Yang simply grinned before taking another swig of her beer. Despite general assumptions, Yang wasn't all that fond of the drink, preferring something a bit sweeter. But what was a game of drunken Cards Against Humanity at three in the morning without some cheap beer? Not any game _she_ was interested in playing.

"Guys, it's my turn!" Weiss whined. "Quit flirting for, for two seconds, and let me play!"

"Aww, is the Ice Queen jealous?" Yang reached out across the table with both hands towards her teammate, accidentally knocking over one of the stacks of white cards in the process. Blake immediately toppled another stack attempting to stop the first one and wound up floundering with cards all over her lap. Yang just let them fall, still half-lying on the table as she reached out to Weiss.

"No. That's absolutely absurd. A Schnee…" Weiss wobbled a little, staring at Yang's outstretched hands. "A Schnee does not get jealous." Then, after a moment, "… It's my turn."

Yang frowned at her rebuttal, but obediently sat up. Blake was still struggling to clean up the two dumped stacks, so Yang reached over and collected a handful that she proceeded to place in the center of the table. It was haphazard, but it would do.

"Okay, Weiss. It's your turn."

She nodded. Yang had a feeling that Weiss was a bit farther gone than she let on, if her half-lidded and unfocused gaze was anything to judge by.

"Weiss?" Blake prodded the heiress's knee with a slender finger. "You need to pick a black card."

"Hmm? Oh. Right, yes." Weiss blinked slowly. She reached out and plucked a black card from the nearest stack. "Okay. The question is… oh no. 'Blank: kid-tested, mother-approved.' Something… something tells me I'm not going to like this. Blake, I'm not going to like this, am I?"

Blake gazed at her cards for a long moment before replying. "Depends on how drunk you are."

"I'm not."

Yang snorted at that. "Weissy, you're even _drunker_ than _I_ am."

"I'm sober enough to know that 'drunker' isn't even a proper word!" the heiress snapped.

"That's just 'cause you're smarter than me."

The blonde then frowned when she realized what she'd just said. Yang knew that Weiss was remarkably intelligent, but it still kind of hurt to admit that the brawler's talents definitely did _not_ lie in academia, unlike the two she was playing with.

To cover her own sudden mood shift, Yang slapped her card face-down onto the table. She did put it face-down, right? Yang lifted her palm a little to make sure. Yep, it was face-down.

"Yang. _Yang_." Weiss leaned forward, her pale gaze suddenly lucid and intense. Wow, she had _really_ cool eyes, like ice. Heheh.

"Yang, you're not dumb. You're not. I'm… I'm just really smart at school, okay? That's all. You're not dumb, or stupid. You can talk to people. And, like, know what they're feeling. I can't even imagine what that's like. I can't, I don't get people."

"Your puns hurt," Blake chimed in as well, still trying to choose which of her cards to play, "but you're really good at them."

Weiss nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I can't make puns. I can't think that fast. But you can. You're really, _hic_ , real clever."

Yang stared at her teammate, utterly speechless and a little skeptical. _I'm… clever?_ "But I suck at schoolwork."

"That much is, _hic_ , obvious, yeah."

Blake smacked Weiss's arm, probably a little harder than she meant to, and Weiss yelped. "What she means is, you're not great at school, but you're smart at other stuff. Like… inter… personal. Interpersonal intelligence. Communicating between people, _getting_ them. You can walk in the room and know right off if one of us had a bad day."

Weiss hiccuped again, then chased it down with a swig of water. "Yeah. What she said. It's a thing. There's different ways of being smart. _Hic_. Blake and I are horrible with people."

The Faunus scoffed as she finally chose her card and gave it to Weiss. "Speak for yourself."

Weiss eagerly took the card and, after a fumbling attempt to shuffle the two cards, looked at them.

"…I think I hate both of you."

Yang broke into a grin, previous melancholy discarded. "What's it say? What was the black card again?"

"'Blake: kid-tested…' wait, no, 'Blank.' 'Blank: kid-tested, mother approved.'"

"'Blake: kid-tested, mother-approved.' Is there something you need to tell us, Blakey?" Yang elbowed her partner, but a brilliant idea suddenly struck her. "Oh man, we need to make cards for each of us. You know, the write-your-own ones? That would be so funny."

The dark-haired girl hummed in approval. Yang noticed how Blake's eyelids were beginning to droop, and Weiss's head was bobbing softly. Or maybe those were her hiccups.

"The choices… 'an Oedipus complex' and…" a look of horror spread across Weiss's flushed face. "Holy shit, _hic_ , 'coat hanger abortions'."

The heiress's ice-blue eyes slid from one teammate to the other.

"Coat hanger abortions," she repeated slowly, deliberately. "Kid-tested, mother-approved. What is wrong with my team. My family. I'm, I'm so disappointed. _Disgusted_. What's wrong with you two? Which of you did this one? I want to know."

Yang immediately pointed at Blake. "She did. Mine was the Oedipus complex. Remember, you two were making fun of me for having to look up what it meant!"

"Yes, _hic_ , I remember us deciding you were a big vanilla baby. But, more importantly…"

Weiss turned to face the Faunus girl beside her, eyes narrowed in a vicious glare. Blake, to her credit barely reacted, though she was probably half-asleep.

"Blake Belladonna. I, _hic_ , I cannot _believe_ that _you_ of all people would play this card. Yang, I can see Yang. Ruby would too. Ruby is terrible, absolutely awful, it's too bad she's at that weapons conference, she always picks my cards. But you? You're terrible too."

Yang shifted nervously. What was Weiss saying? Were they going to start fighting?

"But, because you are so spec- _tac_ -ularly awful," the Schnee heiress declared, straightening up and pulling her shoulders back in a pose that was probably meant to look intimidating, "I am awarding you this point. The final point. _Hic_. You have won. With your coat hanger abortions, you have, you've successfully beaten us."

Blake gave her a half-lidded smile, gently taking the card that Weiss offered. "Thank you. I'm humbled by your grace and generosity."

"You're goddamn right you are."

Yang snorted, unable to hold back her laughter at that. "I think that means we're done? I'm fucking beat."

"Yes," Blake told her smugly, "you are."

In response, the blonde simply flipped her teammate the bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this little AU, Yang holds her alcohol the best, and she laughs a lot. Blake stays the most lucid, but her motor skills and speech go straight to hell. Weiss's the smallest and thus gets hit the hardest, but goddamn if she doesn't try to hold herself together. Ruby is a wee small child who does not break the rules and get drunk and play CAH at three in the morning like the rest of her team. But, if she were to, she'd probably be quiet and cuddly. 
> 
> I'm not around drunk people often enough to really feel confident in writing 'em, and I've never gotten drunk myself ('cause I'm underage and I don't like the burn anyways), so please let me know if anything seems terribly unrealistic. This wasn't for any particular prompt, it just stemmed from a couple conversations I've had over the past few days. Almost had it be a Team RWBY thing, but I'm just _really_ weak to Bee's Schnees in particular.


	12. Children's Seating Only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: n/a
> 
> Pairing(s): slight Roman Torchwick/Ruby Rose (Rosewick), ambiguous relationship

_Damn that crazy mute!_

Roman struggled against the tough material presently trapping his thighs, hands gripping the chains at his sides as he flailed his legs uselessly.

"I cannot _believe_ this," he spat for the umpteenth time. "I swear to Dust, if I can't get out of this before someone finds me…"

Well, he wasn't sure exactly what he would do, but it would definitely be terrible and satisfying. Neo deserved the worst that the criminal's wicked brain could scheme up, and he was determined to inflict his rightful revenge upon his insolent companion.

Just as soon as he got out of this damned swing.

Roman tried again to pull the child's swing from his hips, but it was stuck fast. He'd even undone his pants and tried to shimmy out of them (because frankly, getting caught in his boxers would be less of a blow to his ego than his current situation), but the tiny diaper-like seat refused to release its hold on his thighs.

Sighing, Roman sagged down into the seat, trying to ponder a new way of getting out. He would have tried blasting the chains off with Melodic Cudgel and walking home, but his traitorous companion had taken off with Roman's beloved weapon.

The man couldn't even call the police or something, because there was absolutely _no way_ he was getting caught because of such a humiliating blunder. Roman couldn't ask Cinder or any of his cronies for assistance, either. Not because they wouldn't help him, even Cinder would lend him a hand, he was sure. No, Roman's pride simply wouldn't allow it. Though the photos that Neo took before running off were probably going to start circulating among his associates pretty quickly.

So here he was, stuck in a child's swing in the middle of an empty part at one in the morning.

* * *

"Holy shit, you _are_ here," came a familiar giggle from behind him. Roman froze. He knew that voice. He hadn't heard it many times, but it filled his stomach with cold dread nonetheless. Of all the people who could have wandered over…

"I never, heheh, never thought I'd see this! Oh my god, this is the best day of my _life_." Camera shutters. _Wonderful, even_ more _evidence_.

"Little Red," Roman acknowledged, not bothering to turn around. The girl continued to take pictures with her scroll as she came around in front of him.

"Roman Torchwick," she replied cheerily, biting her lower lip in a thoroughly unsuccessful attempt to keep from grinning at the sight before her.

"Yes, yes, it's all very funny. Congratulations. Now, be a dear and help me out of this, won't you?"

Ruby took one more picture before lowering it, tapping her chin with her free hand in mock consideration.

"Hmmm… nope!"

Roman groaned.

"Oh, come on! Aren't you supposed to be the good guy? Saving people, hunting things, the family business?"

The girl's grin faded and her silver eyes narrowed suspiciously,. "How do you know about my family?"

"What? No, it's a− nevermind, it's not important. Just get me out of here."

"Maybe I will," Ruby replied vaguely, leaning forward a bit so that she was eye-level with Roman. "But only if you tell me how you got like this."

"Isn't it obvious?" he snapped, starting to lose patience. "I sat in a child's swing, got stuck, and you wandered over."

"Something tells me that's not the whole story. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't really seem like the type to just sit in a kiddie swing for no reason."

God, her Cheshire grin was back full-force. Roman found himself grinding his teeth, silently willing himself to play nice.

"Alright, fine. I lost a bet to Neo, and so she made me see if I could fit in this swing. I'm pretty sure she knew I would get stuck, too, that fucking brat, 'cause she snapped a few photos and just took off."

Ruby straightened back up and nodded, almost sagely. "That explains why I got a picture from an unknown number of you stuck in that and a message telling me to come to the park with some lube as soon as possible."

"That brat, I'm going to… wait." Roman's eyebrows shot up in alarm as he had a thought. "You mean a stranger sent you a message on your scroll, with a weird-ass picture of a person you know to be dangerous attached, telling you to grab some lube and come to an empty park in the middle of the night? _And you actually did it?!_ "

The girl crossed her arms and looked away, pouting. "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds really suspicious!"

"How else would I say it? Shit, Little Red, that's how kids like you end up dead in a ditch!"

"Don't call me a kid!" Ruby snapped, bringing her piercing gaze back to him. "Besides, I brought Crescent Rose with me! So do you want my help or not?"

Roman growled. This was why he hated kids. They never had any common sense. Neo wasn't much of an exception, either, judging by her actions earlier that evening.

"Just… get me out of this."

With a huff, the girl pulled out a red tube from some pocket under her cloak. She handed it to Roman, who checked the label to make sure it really was what he thought.

"You actually brought lube. Like, real lube. Strawberry-flavored, no less. How old are you again?"

"Fifteen," she replied, eyes glittering with mischief.

"Oh my god," he moaned. "No. Just stop. I don't want to hear it. I think I'm going to throw up."

Ruby laughed aloud. "Don't worry, it's not actually mine! I stole it from my sister's drawer, where she keeps all her weird stuff."

"Also didn't need to hear that." To avoid even more unwanted information, he stood up and squeezed some of the lubricant onto his fingers. His pants would be ruined, but that was hardly a concern at this point.

After coating his thighs and the swing attached to them with lubricant, Roman lifted himself up by the swing's chains so that he was suspended off the ground.

"Okay, just… pull on it and see what happens."

"Where do I grab?" Ruby asked, eyeing the seat (and where it was strapped) suspiciously. Roman heaved a sigh.

"My waist, obviously. Hop to it, I haven't got all morning."

"Neither do I, and you should be grateful I'm doing this at all! This is so weird, my teammates would kill me."

"I've never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life, if that makes you feel any better," Roman replied tersely as Ruby's hands flittered at his sides. "Come on, just give it a tug. You're making this even weirder than it needs to be."

"Shut up!" With that, the girl grabbed the seat and pulled down sharply. Roman cursed as the tightness and pain around his thighs increased. Then, suddenly, the pain was gone.

" _Freedom_ ," the criminal gasped, falling backwards. He landed with a heavy thud, surely dirtying his white coat to match his now-pink pants, but Roman couldn't bring himself to care.

"Are you… okay?" Ruby asked, her shadow cast by a nearby streetlight falling over him.

"I'm fine." Roman staggered to his feet, legs feeling unusually heavy from being constricted for so long. "Just peachy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going now. I think I've ruined my credibility as a proper villain enough for one night."

With that, Roman spun on his heel, somehow managing to keep his balance despite his legs feeling like they were made of lead. Hopefully if Roman left quickly enough, she wouldn't think to stop him. Behind him, the Huntress giggled.

"Yeah, sure! Just let me know if you decide to _swing by_ again!"

Roman groaned audibly as he hobbled away in shame. Wasn't it the yellow one's job to make bad jokes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman goes home and discovers that every photo in his office and his desktop background have been replaced by pictures of him stuck in the swing. Also, when Mercury received the pictures he immediately sent out a mass email with all of them attached. Ruby goes home, tells her team the funny story, and is lectured by Weiss for two and a half hours for not calling the police immediately and _letting him just walk away Ruby Rose what is wrong with you_. Meanwhile, Yang and Blake nearly piss themselves over the pictures.
> 
> The bet was whether or not Roman could sit through the movie Paranormal Activity without screaming. His revenge was daring Neo to eat an entire quart of ice cream in one sitting. Neo succeeded, but she is lactose intolerant and threw up several times afterwards. Roman laughed.
> 
> I like to think that Roman and Ruby would get along pretty well if they were on the same side. Or, at least, not actively trying to kill one another. I don't ship them romantically myself, I'm not fond of ships with such large age/maturity gaps, but if that's your thing then you go for it.


	13. How to Bribe a Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry 
> 
> Pairing(s): Ruby Rose/Nora Valkyrie (idk what their ship name is), ambiguous relationship

Another metal object clattered on the counter, and Ruby groaned aloud from underneath her pillow. It was doing little to drown out the incessant clanging and occasional singing coming from the kitchen down the hall. How did anyone sleep through it? Not even Ruby's moody roommate had awakened, judging by the lack of complaints coming from the other side of the room.

As the noises and singing continued, Ruby grew more and more exasperated. It was barely the first week of classes, and she was already being awakened at… 

"Oh god it's 3 am," the girl mumbled, staring at her alarm clock in dull horror. 

The sounds from the kitchen had descended from sporadic metal crashes to a quick tapping beat that was somehow even _more_ irritating, especially coupled with the drifting voice that barely rose above the clamor. 

_Alright, that's it. Yang said I need to put my foot down when people do dumb things, and this definitely counts. I'm just going to go out there and tell them to be quiet._

But Ruby couldn't move. _What if they get angry with me? What if they think I'm being a killjoy, what if they tell all their friends that I stopped them from having fun?_

Another crash. It sounded like something plastic fell. 

_But if I don't, I won't be able to sleep, and I have a class tomorrow morning! And there's no way I'm the only one bothered by all this. Yeah. There's probably someone else who's just like me, and that person's keeping them awake too. I'll be helping everyone by telling them to keep it down._

The drumming started up again, and Ruby sat up with a shake of her head. That was it. She was going to march out there and give that rude jerk a piece of her mind. 

Slipping on a pair of fuzzy socks to keep her feet warm, Ruby grabbed her room key and slid out of the room as quietly as she could, praying that the light from the hall didn't disturb her roommate. 

Out in the hall, the noises were even clearer, and Ruby could make out the words that the person was singing.  
" _−from the ashes charred and blue, smellin' like a salty dog, back from hell where you belong!_ " The gleeful voice was high and girlish, with a slight accent. Something European, maybe Irish? Ruby wasn't good with recognizing accents. It wasn't terribly strong, just enough to color the girl's voice a touch. 

The drumming continued as Ruby padded silently down the hall, footsteps muffled by the socks and drowned by the noise. At the end of the hall was the kitchen, just around the corner. It was only a few feet away, yet to the freshman it seemed like miles. 

No, she had to! Ruby wasn't going to let herself be walked over by some jerk who thought it would be a good idea to practice their percussion skills in the kitchen at stupid-o-clock in the morning! 

Steeling herself, Ruby poked her head around the corner. 

A short girl with brilliant orange hair had her back to the hall, messing around with and tapping on a plastic mixing bowl in her hands. The girl was dressed in a black t-shirt and pink shorts, probably sleepwear. 

" _Aaaanarchy! The scourge of e-very sea! The Antichrist aboard our rig, with us your cutthroat thieves−_ " 

"Um, excuse me?" Ruby felt herself blushing a little at how high her own voice squeaked. She was trying to sound assertive here! But it certainly worked to catch the other girl's attention, as she spun on her heel to face Ruby. 

Ruby bit back an even deeper blush, not even knowing why she was so embarrassed all of a sudden. Maybe it was the way the other girl's seafoam eyes widened just a touch upon seeing Ruby half-hidden around the corner, or how her faint smile broadened into a full grin upon realizing she was no longer alone. 

"Oh, hello!" All of a sudden the girl was in front of Ruby, all smiles and sunshine despite the ungodly hour of morning. "I don't think I've seen you around! My name's Nora!" 

"Uhh… m-my name's Ruby." Dust, why was she nervous? She always had trouble talking properly when she was nervous. 

"Nice to meet you, Ruby! Do you want some cookies? They're almost ready!" 

And with that one special word, all of Ruby's sudden anxiety melted away. This close to the kitchen, she could also begin to smell the familiar and glorious scent of chocolate chip. 

Ruby swallowed, trying to keep her composure. "Is that what you're doing?" 

The girl, Nora, nodded brightly. She grabbed Ruby's hand and spun back around, dragging the brunette fully into the kitchen. 

"Yep! My friend Ren would always make me cookies when I couldn't sleep, but he's not here this semester, so I decided to do it myself! It took a lot longer 'cause I didn't really remember exactly how to do things right away, but I found the instructions Ren gave me and I think it went okay! Want to try them with me?" Nora's babbling suddenly ceased and she stared eagerly at Ruby. 

It took every bit of the brunette's willpower not to shout in affirmative. But she was going to be _strong_. 

"Actually, I came out here to, um." So much for strong. The anxiety was returning, and she suddenly wondered how socially inappropriate it would be to simply make a break for her room and just never talk to this brilliant girl again. 

Nora had turned back around, head tilted slightly as she waited patiently for Ruby to finish. She didn't seem anything like the kind of person Ruby would imagine making a ruckus at 3 a.m. in the kitchen, and Ruby felt a flood of shame for being so angry. 

_No! I have a_ right _to be mad!_

"…it's kind of hard to sleep," Ruby finished lamely. 

Instead of showing disappointment or anger, Nora's face lit up. "That's what cookies are for! They go great with warm milk, they'll put you out in no time!" 

"No, I mean, it's hard to sleep _because_ of the cookies." Ruby stared at her feet, unwilling to meet the other girl's gaze. "Because you're making them. Really loudly." 

"…Oh." 

_There_ was the disappointment. Ruby was sure that if she looked up, she'd see Nora's wonderful grin fade. 

"I'm sorry for being so loud." Ruby saw her bare feet shuffle a bit on the linoleum floor. "Ren always made me stay in my room while he made the cookies, because I could never stop talking. I just… don't like being alone. And making noise makes it seem less lonely." 

Ruby flinched at the words. Struck with a sudden desire to hear the girl happy again, the freshman wracked her thoughts.

"What if… what if I helped next time?" she asked hesitantly, her gaze still fixed on the floor as she ignored her brain screaming at how bad of an idea that was. She came in here to secure her sleep in the future, not willingly sacrifice it! Even for the reward of cookies and spending time with this bright girl! 

Said bright girl gasped. "You'd do that?" 

With no other warning, Ruby was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug that could give her older sister's bear hugs a run for their money. Her arms pinned with no chance of getting free, Ruby could only lean into the slightly-smaller girl's grasp as her body was crushed. _Well, this isn't the worst way to die, I guess…_

As suddenly as it began, the hug ended. Ruby gasped for air, giggling weakly as Nora bounced away. 

"That would be great! We could be friends and eat cookies together when we can't sleep! Oh, but I'll try to be quieter, sorry." 

The redhead's voice dropped to a stage-whisper, but her efforts were negated when she turned the sink on full-blast and grabbed a nearby sponge to start washing out a mixing bowl. Ruby felt a faint smile on her face as she grabbed a measuring cup from the counter and followed. So much for getting some sleep tonight. But she somehow couldn't bring herself to be angry anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to see more canon Ruby/Nora interactions because they're both fantastic whirlwinds of chaos and there would be so much more property damage if they were on the same team oh man can you imagine.
> 
> The song Nora's singing is Salty Dog, by Flogging Molly. I just happened to be listening to it when I wrote that part, there's not much deeper meaning behind it.
> 
> By the way, I've withdrawn from school for the rest of this semester for health reasons. For now I'll probably be writing more, but I don't know what'll happen to my schedule once I get a job.


	14. Cargo Shipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: n/a
> 
> Pairing(s): mention of Bee's Schnees (Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long/Weiss Schnee)

Blake blinked, long and slow, as she gazed at the scene before her. Ruby sat frozen, silver eyes as big as plates and a forkful of spaghetti halfway to her open mouth. It was like she thought that if she didn't move maybe Blake wouldn't see her. 

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. 

"Ruby." Blake took a moment to choose her words carefully. She wanted no possibility of misunderstandings. "What, _exactly_ , are you doing?" 

"Umm… noooothiiiing?" the girl replied, more of a question than a statement. She let her fork descend gradually back to her plate with a soft chink. Blake raised a slender eyebrow, and Ruby looked away guiltily. "It's not what it looks like, okay?" 

"Really? Because it definitely looks like you're having a romantic, candle-lit dinner on the roof with Crescent Rose to me." 

Ruby had set out a small round table with two chairs. A single candle rested in the center on a pure-white tablecloth littered with what looked like rose petals. It would have been an impressive little setup had it not been for the weapon resting in its full, massive, metal glory on the chair across from Ruby. It even had its own plate of food and… was that wine? _Oh my god_. 

"Don't tell Yang or Weiss." Ruby's silvery gaze had shifted from guilty to pathetic, pulling out her best puppy-dog gaze. 

But Blake was strong. "Why shouldn't I?" 

In a heartbeat, Ruby dropped her kicked-puppy look and replaced it with a stern frown. _I always knew that was fake anyways_. "Because if you do, I'll tell them about your dream journal." 

_Wait, what? My dream journal? What could possibly− oh._

"You wouldn't _dare_." 

"I would if you would." 

Blake glared at her leader, amber eyes battling silver across the small rooftop courtyard. Ruby glared right back at her just as intensely. 

"How do you even know what's written in there?" Blake asked suspiciously. 

"I get bored sometimes, and I wondered why you always wrote stuff when you first woke up. I knew you and Yang were close, but sheesh! And Weiss too!" 

" _Shut up_ ," Blake snapped hotly, glancing behind her. Fortunately, the stairwell was still empty. Still, she felt her flattened ears growing hot with embarrassment at the knowledge that her _leader_ knew of her affections towards their teammates. "Okay, fine, deal. I don't speak of this, and you keep your nose out of my journal." 

Ruby beamed. "Glad we could come to an agreement!" She picked up her fork once again, swirling a bit of pasta around on her plate. "Oh, could you lock the door when you go?" 

"Gladly," the Faunus muttered, backing through the open doorway and sliding the old door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little thing for the holiday involving my favorite cargo ship! I'll have a proper chapter up soon.


	15. The Writing On the Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "is that REALLY what you want us to write on your custom-order cake?" AU
> 
> Pairing(s): Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long (Bumblebee), minor Yang Xiao Long/Winter Schnee

"Hello?" The voice on the other end, sounding a bit strained though still cheerful, was slightly muffled by noises in the background. 

"Hello, this is Blake with the Beacon Bakery." Hmm… how to word this tactfully. "I was just calling to… confirm your order of a custom cake." 

"Ahhh, I was wondering why I didn't recognize the number." More noises in the background, suddenly muffled as the speaker presumably covered her phone with one hand as she gave what sounded like directions. When the girl returned her attention to Blake, she sounded distracted. "Right, yeah, I did order a cake, yes. A vanilla ice cream cake with white frosting and blue lettering. Maybe some white roses or something in the corner if you can, make it fancy. I'll pay extra for it if ya need." 

"Yes, about the lettering…" Blake hesitated again, unsure of how to proceed. She had to ask, though. Surely there was some kind of mistake. 

"Mm? What about it?" 

"…Are you sure you want us to write this?" 

There was a pause, and Blake leaned against the counter, looking down at the order form in her hands. Then, boisterous laughter filled the receiver. 

"Ahahaha, oh man, yeah, I'm sure! It's a _long_ story, the person we did it to is still mad about it so we're throwing a party to apologize, oh my _god_ Neptune, no, I said get a _white_ banner, that looks terrible!" 

Blake waited patiently as the speaker argued with someone in the background for a moment before returning with a huff. 

"Sorry 'bout that, that guy's great with clothes but he knows jack shit about interior decorating. Anyways, what? Oh yeah, the writing. Yep, exactly as I wrote it. Spelling errors and all, if you can, she'll _hate_ that." 

Blake found herself smiling. "Forgive me for asking, but if you're trying to apologize, why do something she'll hate?" 

"Because she's hilarious when she's mad!" the speaker replied with a laugh. "Trust me, the cake makes it sound bad, but she's just being overdramatic, and she's marrying my sister so I can't let her be pissed at me for long or I might not get invited." A pause. "Wait, shit. You're not homophobic, are you? I shouldn't have said that…" 

"Don't worry," Blake told the girl on the phone, "Beacon Bakery doesn't support discrimination in any form, and neither do I." 

"Oh, sweet! You just got like ten times cooler in my book." There was a muffled shout and a crash. The speaker swore profusely. "Jesus _fuck_ , sorry, I gotta go, I think Nep mighta just broke something. Just do the lettering like I wrote, I promise it's not wrong. I'll pick it up in like two hours." 

"Alright, have a nice day," Blake told her, the last part added almost automatically as she hung up.

* * *

Blake was still on the register when the second hour rolled around. Despite herself, the girl was getting rather curious about the identity of the mysterious person on the phone. She sounded fairly young, both from her voice and the way she spoke. Besides, somehow Blake doubted that anyone over the age of twenty-five would order such an… _unusual_ message on a cake. Or use such coarse language freely. 

The bell on the door jingled faintly, and Blake's head whipped towards the noise. A man no older than twenty-two strode into the small bakery, flashing a smile almost as brilliant as his shock of aqua blue hair. 

"You're Blake?" he asked, resting one elbow casually on the counter. Blake noticed one of his wrists was bandaged. 

"Are you here to pick something up?" she asked the man. He definitely wasn't the one she spoke to earlier. 

"That's right! A cake for Xiao Long. She'll be here in a minute, she's looking for her receipt in the car." He flashed her another dazzling smile, which Blake promptly ignored in favor of looking back at the door. The second customer was just as stunning as the first. She wasn't dressed as suavely as the man, wearing a simple band t-shirt and jean shorts instead of a designer coat and slacks, but her mane of gorgeous blonde hair was certainly eye-catching.

"You're not hitting on her, are you, Nep?" The blonde heaved a sigh as she approached the counter. Lilac eyes met Blake's, her face a mixture of amused and apologetic. "Sorry, I need to keep a tighter leash on this one in public. I'm Yang, I think we talked earlier?" 

_Damn it, if only I wasn't working right now…_

"That's right," Blake told her with a nod. "Do you have your receipt?" 

"Got it right here!" The woman, Yang, slid her receipt across the counter to Blake. She checked it briefly. 

"Alright, just a moment, I'll go grab it." 

As Blake retreated to the back, she could still clearly hear the pair's conversation. 

"So, will you tell me what you had her write yet?" the man, Neptune, asked. 

"You'll see," came the mischievous reply. 

Blake bit back a smile as she retrieved the cake from the refrigerator and returned to the counter. Neptune eagerly slid it across as Yang rifled through her pockets for her wallet. Blake watched as his face dropped. 

" _'Sorry 4 getting drunk + sleeping w ur sister, also congrats on proposing'_. Yang, you've got to be shitting me." 

"Nope! Isn't it great?" The blonde beamed, clearly proud of her creation. Well, Blake's creation. But Blake couldn't have come up with a more awful message to write if she tried. 

"You had us set up a fancy surprise party, and _this_ is the cake you're giving her." 

"That's right." 

"Weiss is going to kill you." 

" _Completely_ worth it." 

"I almost broke my wrist putting up that banner." 

"Not my fault you don't know how to use a ladder properly." 

Neptune rubbed the bridge of his nose. For all his protesting, though, it was clear that the man was barely keeping his laughter at bay. Throughout the exchange, Blake's will had broken, and she found herself openly smiling at the pair. 

Holding back a grin of his own, Neptune looked back at Blake. 

"Is there any way we could get the message changed? Or get a new cake?" 

"She's going to be back in less than half an hour," Yang told them both, shaking her head as she passed money to Blake. "Sorry, man, it's just too late to change it." 

"You planned this," he told her. It was less of an accusation and more of a statement of fact. 

Yang shrugged, not even denying it. "Doesn't change the facts. And what's a surprise apology-slash-congratulations-on-your-proposal party without ice cream cake?" 

"She has a point," Blake chimed in. Yang held up a fist in Blake's direction, and she fistbumped the blonde before returning her change.

Neptune sighed heavily, not even trying to hide his smile anymore. "Fine. This clusterfuck of a cake is on your head, Xiao Long." 

Yang cheered. "Sweet! This's gonna be so funny. I can't wait to see her face. You wanna come, Blake?" 

The dark-haired girl blinked. _Wait, seriously?_ "Sorry, I'm working until closing." 

"Yeesh, that sucks." Yang wrinkled her nose. "Well, can I get your number, then? The whole 'sleeping with your sister' deal was a one-time thing, I swear." 

_She_ is _serious_. Blake felt her face heating up, and her smile grew nervous. 

Seeming to recognize the girl's discomfort, Yang cleared her throat. "I mean, or it can just be to hang out with us sometime. It's just, you seem pretty cool is all, and I think my sister would like you." 

Blake shook her head. "No, sure, it's fine. Just a second" 

She grabbed an old receipt from a stack behind the counter and, snatching up a nearby pen, scrawled her personal number on it. Before she could change her mind, Blake slid it across the counter. "I'm free most weekends." 

The blonde across the counter started smiling once again, relieved. "Alright, cool! I'll let you know next time we all hang out, and you can come along! It's never anything bad, just dumb stuff like bars or arcades or laser tag." 

Blake nodded, rubbing her forearm with one hand idly. During the pause, Neptune grabbed the abomination of a cake and gestured with his uninjured hand towards the door. 

"Well, we've got to sneak this thing back into our friend's apartment before she gets back. Nice meeting you, Blake." 

"Yeah, what he said!" Yang gave a cheery wave, which Blake returned. 

"Likewise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yang and Neptune would be _such_ bros.


	16. So You DON'T Want Cocaine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I work at the local blood bank that’s vampire friendly. I think you’re trying to euphemistically ask me how to buy some blood, or buy drugs. Should I get my manager for this?
> 
> Pairing: Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee (White Rose), ambiguous relationship

_"Psst."_

Ruby stumbled to a halt, almost tripping over herself when she heard a harsh whisper nearby. She hopped back to her feet, glancing back over her shoulder towards the source of the noise, but saw no one behind her. The sidewalk was empty, and the nearest people behind her were well out of earshot. 

_"Over here, you moron!"_

Yep, that was definitely coming from the alley. Her sister's voice came back to her, countless warnings to avoid being alone and following mysterious voices into alleys. Ruby had thought it was odd how specific her warnings always were, but apparently being lured into alleyways by desperate whispering was a more common event than she had originally anticipated. 

"Come _on_ , I don't have all day!" the voice from the alley snapped impatiently, and Ruby found herself stumbling forward almost out of instinct. That voice didn't sound like one she wanted to disappoint. 

Ruby rounded the corner, half-expecting to see a demon or shark-man or, or even a thug with a knife or something. Hell, even just a thug _without_ a knife would have been way more dangerous-looking than the person Ruby found herself face-to-face with. 

The girl was rather short, with long alabaster hair drawn into an asymmetrical ponytail and skin white like porcelain. She wore a white dress and a white umbrella rested in one hand. Her eyes were chips of ice, a thin vertical scar crossing the left one. They were the only threatening part of the small girl, but boy did they look serious. 

"You're Ruby Rose, right?" the girl asked. She was still standing in the shadows, but she glanced back over her shoulder as if to reassure herself that they were indeed alone. 

Ruby swallowed nervously, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets and fiddling with a scrap of paper she found in one. 

"Erm, yes? Do I know you?" 

"No, you don't. My name is Weiss, and I… require your services." 

The girl, Weiss, glanced behind her again. Gosh, that was starting to make Ruby even more nervous. 

"Uhhh, what can I do?" 

Weiss frowned a bit, and Ruby frantically wondered if she had done something wrong. What did this girl want? What should Ruby have said? 

"I have… come to understand that…" Weiss said slowly, seeming to choose her words carefully. "You can provide to _certain persons_ with… how do I say this…" 

Provide certain people? "Umm, that doesn't really sound like anything I normally do…" 

"No, you're Ruby Rose, it's definitely you. I was told that you're the person to talk to if I ever… you know… needed a fix." 

The white-haired girl looked around once again, and Ruby found herself glancing back as well. The street behind her was still empty. Not many people were out and about at this time of the day, it seemed. 

"I'm not sure who you talked to, but you definitely have the wrong person. I get up, go to my job, go home, play video games, eat, and go to bed. That's basically all I do. Definitely no providing strange things to people who need fixes, are you talking about drugs? I'm not stealing drugs for you." 

"What? No!" The girl looked horrified. "Drugs? I don't need drugs, you dolt, I need _blood!_ "

* * *

"Why didn't you just _say_ you were a vampire?" Ruby asked as she quickly filled out a sign-up sheet. Luckily, the blood bank was empty of other patrons or employees. The company was vampire-friendly, but old prejudices die hard.

"I'd never done this before!" Weiss snapped hotly. "How was I supposed to know it would be so easy?" 

"You could've just _asked_ ," Ruby informed her, passing the clipboard over the counter. "Here, fill this out and sign at the bottom." 

"Thank you. And I couldn't have 'just asked', do you know what they do to vampires back in Atlas? If I told someone I'm a vampire and asked where to buy blood, I wouldn't get a clipboard and a pen, I'd get a stake in the chest!" 

As Weiss spoke, she scrawled on the sheet fiercely before passing the clipboard back to Ruby. Her handwriting, though intense, was quite neat and clear. Her signature was in beautiful calligraphy, _Weiss Schnee_. 

"Schnee? I feel like I know that name…" 

"Of course you do," Weiss replied, looking quite happy at being recognized. "Any self-respecting supernatural worker should. We are the oldest vampire family in Remnant, after all." 

"Oooh, really?" Ruby looked the girl over once again. "You don't look very old, though…" 

"I'm quite a bit older than _you_ , that's for sure," Weiss scoffed. "How old are you anyways, fourteen?" 

Ruby huffed. "I'm eighteen! How old are you?" 

"Several times that," Weiss answered, waving a hand loosely. "You lose count after a while." 

"Really? Do you remember when your birthday is?" Ruby asked as she unclipped the sign-up page from the clipboard and filed it away. 

"T-the fifth of September, why?" 

"I dunno," Ruby replied with a shrug. "Just wondering if you remembered, that's all. Okay, we'll get you registered as soon as we can. Until then, we can provide you with a single blood pack to tide you over. Do you have any insurance that covers the supernatural?" 

"Umm… no, I don't think so." 

"Okay, you'll have to pay for this one out of pocket, then. It's 30 lien a litre. Got any allergies to blood types?" 

The vampire reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a (surprise surprise) white leather wallet. This girl really had a thing for monochrome. 

"No, any type is fine." Weiss retrieved the cash and passed it over the counter.

Ruby took the money from the girl and stashed it in the safe under the counter. She then retreated into the back to retrieve a blood pack. They kept a few out of storage for times like these. 

"Aaaaaaaand one blood pack for the lovely lady!" Ruby called as she returned, giving an eloquent bow as she held the pack of blood out towards Weiss. 

The pale vampire stared at her for a few moments before taking the pack. "That was the most ridiculous bow I have ever seen. Besides, aren't you supposed to curtsey?" 

"Pssh, I'm not rich or famous, I don't know formal stuff like that." 

"Hmm…" 

There was an awkward silence between the two. Weiss looked at Ruby expectantly, and Ruby looked blankly back. 

"Well?" 

"Well what?" 

"Aren't you going to give me a bag or something?" 

"Err… no?" Ruby scratched the back of her neck, uncomfortable at the scrutiny she was being subjected to.

"No?" Weiss cried, alarmed. "What, am I supposed to just walk out of here with a pack of blood in my hand?" 

"Yes? I mean, that's what everybody else does. At least, as far as I'm aware. I don't serve very many vampires, honestly." 

"Well, go find me a bag, because I'm not going to be seen tramping around with such an obvious indication of my status!" 

"Oh, yeah, 'cause the umbrella on a sunny day isn't obvious enough…" Ruby muttered, ducking under the counter. Surely they had some bags _some_ where. "A-ha!" 

Ruby stood back up, brandishing a brown paper sack. Her name was scrawled almost illegibly on it in black permanent marker. 

"This had my lunch in it earlier, but it should work just fine!" 

Weiss made a face, but she took the paper bag gingerly between two fingers. 

"Very well. I suppose I'll have to thank you. For the bag, and for getting me signed up. I'll be able to come back regularly now, right?" 

Ruby nodded. "That's right! And we can get you hooked up with some insurance that'll help cover your blood cost as well as other side effects of _sanguinis vampiris_ if you're interested! The paperwork will go through within a couple of days, so stop by and see me again soon, okay?" 

Weiss nodded solemnly, pale eyes, looking down at the bag in her hands. "Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy I'm back 
> 
> yes, I used the Elder Scrolls name for vampirism, go ahead and lock me up sheriff, I done wrong. Also, Weiss is a Virgo and I will fight you on this.


	17. Motion Sickness and Pastel Dinosaurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I'm at an amusement park with my little sibling and they dragged me onto the most childish ride, oh no the person conducting the ride is really cute and we keep making awkward eye contact
> 
> Pairing: Jaune Arc/Pyrrha Nikos (Arkos)

Jaune gazed up at the large metal structure before him. Its four great arms were painted a variety of soft pastel colors and were adorned by images of cute cartoon dinosaurs. It was all quite adorable, to the ordinary passerby. But Jaune knew what horrors awaited. 

The park's minigames, no problem. The wave pool, piece of cake. The Lazy River, Jaune was a natural pro. Hell, even the bumper cars were fine! Jaune had no issue with a vehicle that he could control. But the moment his feet left the good old solid earth, things would go downhill _fast_. 

"Come on, Jaune!" His youngest sister tugged stubbornly at her unmoving older sibling's hand. "We gotta get in line!" 

"Um… don't you want to go on the bumper cars again?" he asked quietly, not taking his eyes off of the pastel monstrosity before him. 

"No bumper cars! They're boring, and you always lose! I want the dinosaur ride!" The younger Arc stomped her foot angrily. His two other sisters stood nearby, simply watching the scene unfold. 

Jaune knew from experience that there was no arguing with Adelaide at this point. There weren't many things that caught her attention, but the young girl could be as stubborn as a mule. 

He continued to gaze at the children's ride. Yeah, that's what it was. A children's ride. Just a little ride that goes around in a circle, maybe a little up-and-down, nothing he couldn't handle. And it would certainly be worth avoiding his baby sister pouting for the rest of the day. Right? 

"Sir, we have room for four more, if you'd like?" 

Jaune tore his gaze from that of a painted pterodactyl and glanced at the ride's conductor. 

"Oh, right, yeah, that's…" 

The blond's sentence petered out as he gazed at the girl—no, the _woman_ —behind the booth. She wore a simple blue polo, not exactly the most flattering apparel, but it was everything _else_ that caught Jaune's attention. Her apple-red hair was drawn in a loose ponytail that hung gracefully over one defined shoulder, silken locks blowing gently in a faint breeze. Her eyes were a brilliant green, sharp and intelligent, but eased by the warm smile on her face. If Jaune were a poet, he might describe her as a noble goddess descended from the heavens. But he wasn't, and so his mind was utterly blank as he stared at the remarkably attractive girl in front of him.

"Sir? Are you alright?" 

"What?" Jaune jumped visibly, startled from his trance. "Yes, um, hahaha, yeah, I'm fine, everything's… fine… yeah we'll get on the ride, thanks. Sorry." 

"Nice going, Romeo," one of his other sisters, Estelle, giggled under her breath, and Jaune sighed heavily. 

Adelaide all but dragged her older brother up to the booth. She held up her little orange paper wristband for the red-haired girl to see, proof that she (see: Jaune) had paid to have unlimited access to the park's rides for the day. Estelle and Marie also flashed theirs to the girl, who nodded in acknowledgement. 

Jaune, still unnerved by what he was about to experience, drew a blank as he stepped up to the booth as well. Usually he had some kind of suave and clever pickup line, or at least a decent compliment, but all he could do was meekly show his dumb paper wristband. 

"Alright, you four can go in. I hope you enjoy your ride!"

* * *

Jaune clutched the handlebar in front of him, knuckles and face a sickly white. Even Adelaide was beginning to worry about him. 

"Big brother, you don't have to ride with us," she told him, resting a small hand on his elbow in concern. "You can get off if you want. It's okay." 

But Jaune shook his head. What kind of big brother was he if he couldn't handle a little ride like this? He'd stay on and show his sisters that he was someone they could depend on. _And maybe not make a complete fool of myself in front of that girl at the booth…_

Somehow, Jaune managed to grip the handlebar even tighter as the ride lurched into motion. The lavender triceratops began to trundle forwards slowly, its initial motions jerky and unsteady. Just the thing to trigger Jaune's motion sickness. 

"Oh no…" he mumbled, tilting his head forwards. 

"Big bro, don't throw up!" 

"Oh my god, Jaune, if you puke…" 

The triceratops began to near the booth, and Jaune found himself catching the emerald gaze of the conductor. She gave him a reassuring smile, which he attempted to return before they passed. 

The ride slowly began to ascent, only a couple of feet off the ground. Several children cried out in varying levels of excitement or fear. At the same time, it picked up speed. The pastel dinosaurs were still barely above walking speed, but it certainly didn't help the blond Arc's situation. He could feel his stomach twisting, hyperaware of every dip and twitch of the vehicle he was confined to. 

"You're going to be fine." 

Jaune glanced up, just as he passed the conductor in her booth. She was leaning out of a small window in the side, watching the car pass. The girl gave him a small wave, but glanced away before he could wave back. 

As they rounded the ride again, she was still leaning out of the window. 

"Try staring at a fixed point, like the handlebar." 

"R-right…" 

Jaune did as he was told. The ride continued to dip and rise, but it felt a little better to not watch the world pass by. 

"Remember, you're going to be fine." 

_I'm going to be fine. I won't get sick._

* * *

Jaune's knees wobbled as he got out of the pale purple dinosaur, following his sisters to the gate. 

The red-haired girl was waiting for him. 

"See? I knew you had it in you," she told him, smiling softly again. 

Jaune gave a weak giggle. "I don't know, I think I might need to sit down for a little while. On something that _doesn't_ move." 

The red-haired girl laughed politely in return. "I wouldn't blame you. I understand, I used to get motion sickness as a child. Though I was lucky enough to grow out of it." 

"Heh, well, I guess I wasn't as fortunate." 

"I guess not." 

There was an awkward silence as Jaune stood beside the booth. His sisters waited with surprising patience a few feet away as he fumbled for something to say. 

"So, uh, could I get your name? So I can tell the rest of my family about my red-haired savior, I mean." 

The conductor's smile returned, deep green eyes warm and friendly. "Pyrrha. And yours?" 

"I'm Jaune, Jaune Arc. Easy and smooth, rolls right off the tongue." _Nice._

Finally, Adelaide began to grow impatient. She pulled on Jaune's belt loop in irritation, which drew yet another chuckle from Pyrrha.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jaune Arc. Come back anytime, if you'd like some help with your motion sickness." 

"Be careful, I might just take you up on that!" Jaune warned cheerily. It was true, though; perhaps it was simply the distraction to take his mind off of his queasiness, but Pyrrha really had helped. At the very least, it was an excuse to come back. Though maybe next time she would be conducting a ride that wasn't so… pastel and dinosaur-y.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pyrrha is a beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure. And Jaune is the kind of guy to _nice_ his own lines.


	18. Puppy Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: If you're still taking prompts, I'd love to see White Rose bonding over Zwei.
> 
> Pairing: Weiss Schnee/Ruby Rose (White Rose), ambiguous relationship

"Tell me again, exactly _what_ possessed you to bring your _dog_ along?" Weiss growled. At the mention of his species, Zwei's ears perked up in interest. He was trotting quietly along between Weiss and Ruby, keeping up with their longer strides surprisingly well as he and the Hunter and Huntresses made their way down the broken streets.

"What are you so angry about?" Ruby snapped back, losing her patience. "He's not being a bother, and he hasn't done anything to you!" 

"We've had to stop for potty breaks three times in the last hour!" 

"Don't judge Zwei for his small bladder, it's not his fault!" 

Zwei let out a small yip and wagged his stubby tail when Ruby said his name, but the pair ignored him again in favor of continuing their argument. 

"No, it's not his fault he's slowing us up. It's _yours_ , because you're the one who brought him along!" Weiss huffed and quickened her pace a bit, as though she had won the argument. 

Ruby jogged a bit to catch back up. "Did you just want me to leave him in our dorm or something?" 

" _No_ , I wanted you to do something responsible with him!" 

"Oh my _Dust_ , will you two quit arguing for two minutes?" Yang complained from behind them. Blake made a noise of agreement. 

"This kind of dissent _is_ most unbecoming of a team of Huntresses-to-be…" Oobleck acknowledged, though he seemed unwilling to sort the matter out himself. 

"Fine! As team leader, I say it was a good decision to bring Zwei along. He'll be a great asset to the team, won't you, boy?" 

Elated to be the center of attention once again, the little black dog yipped and barked, running in a quick circle around Ruby's legs before returning to his position in the front of the group. 

"You can't just— ugh, you know what? Nevermind." 

The group returned to silence once again. It was arguably just as stifling as their bickering, and was broken only on occasion by a stray Beowulf pack.

* * *

By the time they made camp, tensions had eased significantly. Weiss could hold a grudge, but Oobleck was right; it wouldn't do to keep fighting outright when they had a mission to complete. So she kept to her passive-aggressive silence, even as the four Huntresses set up their sleeping bags around the fire. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Weiss could see Ruby lying on her back, one hand stroking the dark corgi between his ears. She felt a little rumble of jealousy, but quickly squashed it. Sure, the dog was cute, _adorable_ even, but a Grimm hunt was no place for such a small animal! He could easily be injured in battle, and the potty breaks were seriously starting to get ridiculous. 

Weiss settled down on her back, hands resting peacefully on her stomach. She had one of the later watch shifts, so she needed to get as much sleep as she could in the meantime. The heiress had never been fond of sleeping on the ground, but she was not unaccustomed to it. The fire warded away the chill of the night, and a _responsible_ teammate was keeping watch, so Weiss could sleep a bit easier. 

At least, she _would_ be able to, were it not for Ruby's damned whispering. _Who is she even talking to? Zwei?_

Cracking one eye open, Weiss confirmed that Ruby was indeed murmuring into the dog's attentive ear. Weiss almost told her to keep it down, but she remembered her vow of silence and shut her mouth stubbornly. The silent treatment may be petulant, but if Ruby wanted to act like a child, Weiss could too. 

The whispering stopped, finally, and Weiss soon found herself drifting off to the sharp sounds of the fire. The rest of the ruined city was dead-quiet, and this one sound was comforting. She could hear Yang's faint snoring as well, quick to sleep as always. She'd grown used to that sound over time, though it had taken quite a while and several sleepless nights.

* * *

Weiss was nearly asleep when she felt something brush gently against her side. Being ticklish, she jolted awake and had to stifle a flinch. Zwei hopped away in alarm, but quickly returned. He nestled himself against the curve of Weiss's waist, head brushing against her elbow and forearm, and flopped down on his side with a heaving sigh. 

_Oh. My. God._

Weiss lay stiff, not daring to move, lest she break the magic spell or whatever it was that had graced her with such a gift. Zwei's muffled breathing could be heard barely over the fire, and his little furry body was already warming her side even further. 

The heiress cooed silently in her mind. She was wide awake now, eyes fixed on the dark ceiling as she listened to everything around her. Slowly, Weiss cast her eyes around the camp. Blake had apparently finished her watch and was now fast asleep with her back to the fire. Yang was off keeping watch around the corner, and Ruby… 

Ice-blue eyes met silver, and Weiss instantly understood _exactly_ what was going on. 

_You did this_ , she mouthed accusingly. Instead of adoration for the black bundle of fur at her side, Weiss suddenly felt betrayal. Ruby's eyes widened further, and she tried to look away guiltily. After a moment, though, the brunette seemed to realize that wouldn't work. 

"Sorry, I thought… I thought you'd like it…" Ruby whispered, loud enough to be heard across the little camp and over the still-burning fire. Blake's ear twitched under her bow at the sound, and Weiss frowned. It wouldn't do to wake up their _entire_ team. So she beckoned Ruby to come closer. 

The girl in red hesitated, then obediently shuffled over. She sat awkwardly near Weiss, on the other side of Zwei. 

"So, you thought you could butter me up by making me like him more?" Weiss hissed. "Well, it's not going to work!" 

Despite her protests, Weiss still hadn't moved an inch beyond her gesture towards her leader. 

"No, that's not— I was trying to apologize. I still think it was the right thing to do, but you're right, I should've considered everything. I just took him along because I thought it would be fun, but I'm not sure what I would do if he got hurt…" 

Ruby's back was to the fire, and her face was in shadow, but Weiss could clearly hear the sorrow in her voice. There was a lot more than sorrow, too, but Weiss wasn't in the mood to deal with that quite yet. 

"Just lie down, you dolt. You look like a fool just sitting there." 

With how quickly Ruby was obeying her instructions, one might mistake the heiress as the one in charge. The younger Huntress settled next to Weiss, resting on her side with her back to the fire and Zwei curled into her stomach. 

The two of them pet the warm black bundle of fur idly, silent for several tense minutes. Finally, Weiss deigned to respond. 

"I accept your apology… and I'm glad Zwei is here too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what Weiss is talking about, the silent treatment is totally mature. And Weiss is basically me with small animals. People can bring their dogs in where I work and it's SO HARD TO BE PROFESSIONAL WHEN THERE'S A PUPPY RIGHT OVER THERE.
> 
> but yeah this prompt's from a lovely guest reviewer over on FF.net! Or it's a reviewer who just wasn't signed in at the time. Either way, this took WAY too long to write but I loved every minute of it :V
> 
> damn I miss my dogs lol, but I'm trying to convince my parents to get a corgi next


	19. Chocolate Volcano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I'm a bartender and you just came in here without shoes, sat down, and ordered a chocolate volcano, and idk what the fuck that is and I'm scared to ask
> 
> Pairing: Coco Adel/Velvet Scarlatina

It was a slow evening, and Velvet felt her ears and eyelids begin to droop along with the heavy bass. Why Blake always commandeered the radio and played such noise the rabbit Faunus would never understand, but it wasn't worth complaining about. So Velvet just listened as the shitty speakers blared over the steady murmur of the small crowd. 

Just a couple of regulars this evening, as usual. Their patrons were primarily fellow Faunus, seeing as this was the only bar on the main street open to their kind. Still, the occasional human would wander in, usually underage students trying their luck. And a few got in, if they paid the bouncer enough or beat him in an arm-wrestling match. 

"Another Shiner Bock, darlin'?" a ram Faunus who probably didn't need another Shiner Bock called, waving his empty glass towards her. Ignoring the somewhat rude call, Velvet obediently made her way over and retrieved his empty glass. 

A muffled shout from outside distracted both of them, though the ram Faunus quickly lost interest. Velvet watched as the front door was opened—no, kicked open— and the newest patron strolled inside. 

The woman was wearing a creamy brown cropped jacket over a darker chocolate sweater, complemented nicely by the bar's warm lighting. She was strikingly barefoot, and Velvet was fairly certain that she could see a nasty bruise forming on the left side of the woman's jaw. 

She made a beeline across the bar and straight for Velvet, who found herself backing away just a touch. What had just happened? 

The woman grabbed a nearby barstool and dropped herself into it. Despite the darkness of the interior and the late hour, she kept her sunglasses on. She smelled like a human, though. _Maybe she has a black eye or something under there?_

"It's been a long day, doll. Get me a chocolate volcano, would you?" 

Velvet jumped a bit when the woman spoke. Her voice was youthful and light, with barely a hint of the tiredness that her body language clearly expressed. 

The last thing Velvet wanted to do was disappoint this mysterious and oddly intimidating stranger. She'd managed to get past the bouncer despite the bar's no-shirt-no-shoes-no-service policy, after all. 

But Velvet had _no idea_ what a chocolate volcano was. 

* * *

"And add a splash of coffee liqueur to that. No, a dash more. _Perfect_." 

The woman was, as it turned out, far more amicable than her introduction had made her seem. In fact, after Velvet's first failed attempt at making what she hoped was a chocolate volcano, she had become downright chatty. How much of that was her better mood and how much of that was the alcohol she had ingested, the bartender didn't know, but it did give her a few insights. 

First, the woman's name was Coco. Her favorite food was chocolate, amusingly enough. She worked in the fashion industry in some way, though her descriptions of her actual job were vague at best. And she had punched the bouncer in the face after he tried to stop her from coming in, which he returned before permitting her entry (which explained the bruise). 

Coco took the glass that Velvet offered as though it were the last drink she would ever receive. "You're a goddess. An angel. A being of pure starlight. You have come to me in my time of need and bestowed upon me a gift like no other." 

Velvet giggled at the woman, who winked comically behind her sunglasses. "You like that? I have plenty more where that came from, and the more alcohol I have in me the better it gets. Well, my friends tell me it gets worse, but I'm fairly certain it gets better." 

"I'm sure you'd be a hit on slam poetry nights," Velvet informed her as she began to clean one of the used glasses. 

"Slam poetry nights?" Coco looked intrigued. 

"That's right. It's pretty funny when you're sober, and even funnier when you're drunk. Happens every Thursday evening at 11, if you're interested." 

"Oh, I'm definitely interested. Will you be working then?" Coco leaned forward against the counter as she sipped at the chocolate volcano. It looked kind of gross to Velvet, but she had certainly made stranger drinks. 

"Afraid not," Velvet replied casually, trying to look composed as she cleaned the glass a bit too long. "I have the day off." 

"Would you care to join me, then?" The bartender still couldn't see Coco's eyes behind the dark shades, but she was willing to bet that the woman had winked again, judging by the sly smile on her face. "Going to your workplace on your day off probably doesn't sound like the best time, but I'm sure I can make it worth your while." 

"Oh really?" Velvet let out a little laugh. Wow, Coco was _not_ very subtle. Nothing about her seemed subtle, in fact. From her wavy brown hair, cut short and dyed orange at the tips, to her flashy clothes and even _more_ flashy entrance, everything about this woman screamed of everything that Velvet was not. 

"Really. What do you say, meet me here at 11?" 

Well, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KICKS DOOR DOWN  
> BUENOS DIAS MOTHERFUCKERS 
> 
>  
> 
> (I wrote this a while ago I just wanted to post something to say I am still alive and doing this I just have had things to do that didn't involve writing. School is a lot more taxing for me mentally, so I just haven't had the spoons to spare for writing lately. I'm getting onto an upswing, though, and a [friend's fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4678628/chapters/10679072) kicked me in the butt and got me thinking about writing again. So here I am! Next chapter should be out soon, working on a prompt I got a while back that I fucking LOVE so this should be entertaining.)


	20. RIP, IHOP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Auntie Nora and Uncle Ren are babysitting their god child, they decide, much to Nora's pleading, to go to ihop. (rest of the prompt omitted due to minor spoilers)
> 
> Pairing(s): Lie Ren/Nora Valkyrie

"Reeeeeeeen." 

No response.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen." 

Still nothing but running water and the scratching of sponge against ceramic.

_"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen…"_

"Nora, I can hear you," the man gently informed the head resting on his shoulder. Nora's hair tickled his neck as she slowly ground her chin into his shoulder. He ignored both sensations, instead continuing to wash the cake-batter-encrusted bowl in his hands. 

"We're hungry, Ren!" his wife moaned, arms wrapped like a vice around his ribs. 

"No, _you're_ hungry. We just ate dinner an hour ago." 

"I'm hungry too, Uncle Ren!" called a smaller voice from his other side. A little hand patted at Ren's right leg, hoping to get his attention too. 

Ren was no fool. He was well aware that the boy was lying, though not with cruel intentions. Little Septimus was always easily persuaded to go along with his godmother's antics. She wasn't trying to be manipulative, either, the pair simply fed off their combined childish energy. A passing idea could easily become an obsession, and Ren had the unfortunate task of keeping the pair from committing felonies. Sep would get off pretty easily, but Nora didn't need any more arrests. 

However… it was just going out to dinner. The pair had certainly come up with more dangerous ideas in the past, and in comparison this was incredibly tame. At this point, his resistance was simply a formality. And Nora knew it.

With a slow and heavy sigh, Ren shook his head. "Alright, what do you want to eat, th—"

" _IHOP!_ " 

Well, that answered _that_ question.

* * *

Sep eagerly claimed an entire side of the booth to himself, arms and legs sprawled out to keep anyone from sitting beside him with a cheerful cry of "my side!" Nora dropped into the opposing bench, bouncing on the cusioned seat in excitement. 

"Well, this is _our_ side!" she proclaimed, pulling Ren down beside her. "No babies allowed! Right, Ren?" 

"Something like that." 

A young man in a blue apron made his way over to their table. He looked exhausted from a long day, but kept up a surprisingly genuine smile. 

"Anything I can get you all to drink?" 

"Chocolate milk," Sep stated decisively, barely letting the man finish his words. 

"Same," quipped Nora as the man fumbled with his pen, his smile slipping a bit. "And Ren wants lemonade with no ice." 

The employee glanced at Ren, who simply nodded. There was little worse than watered-down lemonade. 

"R-right, that was, two chocolate milks and one lemonade with no ice?" The employee scribbled the order down. "Anything else I can get you?"

"Why yes, I think there _is_ something you can get us," Nora said slyly. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and tenting her fingers as she looked up at the bewildered employee. Across from them, Septimus stifled a giggle. 

"Ah, yes, what would that be?" 

" _Pancakes_. And _lots_ of them." 

"Pancakes! All pancakes!" Sep cried, unable to contain his hyperactive glee. Nora gave him a thumbs up for the idea. 

"What he said! Bring us all the pancakes you have!" 

"Well, um…" 

The employee looked distinctly uncomfortable, and looked at Ren beseechingly. The dark-haired man sighed and decided to take pity on him. 

"Two pick-your-pancake combos. First combo is double blueberry with bacon, the second is original buttermilk with bacon. We'll also have a Silver 5, from the kid's menu." 

After the employee wrote down the order and scurried off, Nora kicked Ren in the leg. 

"Spoilsport!" she grumbled. 

"Yeah, spoilsport!" Sep agreed, simply for the sake of agreeing. 

"If you ate all of the pancakes here," Ren warned the boy, "you might explode." 

"No I won't!" 

"I've seen it before. In this very restaurant, in fact…"

* * *

By the time the employee returned with their food, Ren had both Nora and Sep wide-eyed and hanging onto his every word. 

"What color were his guts?" Sep asked, both horrified and fascinated by the story. 

"The most disgusting red and purple you can imagine," Ren informed him matter-of-factly, holding a hand up to refuse a stack of pancakes. "Those are for him, the Silver 5 are mine. Thank you." 

"Ewww…" Nora moaned, grabbing her plate eagerly from the man. Apparently the mental image wasn't enough to spoil her appetite, at least. 

However, by the look on her face, the first bite did it for her. Nora spat the pancake out immediately, dropping her fork on the table with a startling clatter. 

"What's wrong?" Ren was quite concerned. Not much could make Nora turn her nose up at a pancake with the first bite, so it had to be serious. 

He was even more alarmed when Sep made a face as well. Their godson didn't spit his out, but the boy certainly didn't look happy. 

"It's not cooked all the way!" Nora whined, staring at her plate as though it had personally insulted her. 

Ren prodded his smaller pancakes with his fork. They seemed fine, but he knew from experience that a smaller pancake would cook faster than full-sized ones. 

Before he knew how to react, Nora had scrambled up onto the table and leapt off, making a beeline for the kitchen. 

"C'mon, Sep, let's teach them how to cook right!" 

"Nora, _no!_ "

* * *

Ren rested his head on the steering wheel as he listened to the wail of the smoke detectors and the distant siren of the fire truck. Beside him, Nora was laughing hysterically, and Sep couldn't stop giggling. 

"Syrup for the pancakes!"   
"Syrup for the pancake gods!" 

"…Sep, you know the rules, right?" Ren asked the boy, still not lifting his head from the steering wheel. 

"Yeah, don't tell Mommy and Dad what we do!" 

"That goes double for today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full prompt: Auntie Nora and Uncle Ren are babysitting their god child, they decide, much to Nora's pleading, to go to ihop. It ends (how it happens is up to you) with the ihop on fire and nora and god child chanting "Syrup for the Pancake gods!".
> 
> is that not the best fucking prompt you have ever read 
> 
>  
> 
> also, Jaune and Pyrrha (Sep's parents) hear about a fire at the local IHOP. They get suspicious.   
> Sep acts shifty and refuses to answer questions.   
> They try to call Nora, but she starts laughing the moment they mention IHOP.   
> They try to call Ren, but he declines their calls.


End file.
